Mommy Issues

 As March is National Women’s History Month, I have been thinking a lot about the important women in the world and especially the ones that have greatly impacted my life.  While we still have a long way to go, countless women have trailblazed the path for us so that we can be where we are now.  Women in leadership continue to work hard towards equality each day.  As a leader in my office, I strive to be a good example for all of the female leaders around me and to foster an environment where the voices of women are equally as important as the voices of men. 

We live in a culture where we generally adore our mothers.  Our moms are hugely important to us.  When everyone else in the world may let us down, it seems that Mom is always there. 

However, that is not always the case. Some of us have “mommy issues,” where they are not so close to their mothers.  It’s something we don’t often discuss because it almost seems taboo to do so.   

Throughout the years, I have had some trouble understanding my mother.   We have not been very close during my life, and we have not had the connection that I thought I would always want for us.  Thankfully, more recently, we have been getting closer, and have been building up a friendship, which makes me so happy!

Regardless of my feelings about my mom and of what I have believed our relationship should be, I realize how much of a gift to the world that she truly is.  She is one of the most loving, caring, and beautiful people there is.  She wasn't just placed on this planet to parent me, so it would be selfish of me to be mad about any parenting related frustrations I may have had over time. 

In fact, I know that I have my own parenting imperfections, so it's not right to judge her or anyone else due to that fact! 

My mom would literally pull the shoes off her feet and give them to someone if she knew they needed them.  She loves and cares for her friends in a deep way and always tries to be supportive and give loving advice.  Despite having had a rough go at life, experiencing the loss of her dad at 5 years old, surviving a very abusive marriage, and several other difficulties, she always remains positive, optimistic, and loving.  She always tries hard to positively contribute to the world around her.  I just love and respect her so much for the woman she is.

I share this today because perhaps there are some of you that wish you had a different relationship with your mother, which has made it hard for you to forgive her, and ultimately made it hard for you to accept her for who she is.  I want to encourage you to forgive, take any other steps needed to repair your relationship, and love her for who she is.  Every mother-daughter/mother-son relationship does not look the same.  Yes, she is your mother, but she is so much more to the world.  Her sole purpose was not to be your mother. It’s important to remember that, as it will help soften your heart and will ultimately mend your relationship. 

I am praying with you over this issue.

With all my love,

Lyrica

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

When we moved to NC from Oregon 13 years ago, I took a job in a new career field- working for the federal government- writing disability decisions.  Before moving, I had been the counselor at two elementary schools, meeting with literally hundreds of students each week, which I thought was my calling and my dream job. I went from that to sitting behind a computer screen and reviewing records and writing about them- by myself- for eight hours straight each day.  It was a drastic career change.

At first, it was a welcomed relief, as counseling was tough emotionally.  However, after a while, I started to feel out of sorts, as if I was doing something contrary to who I was, which was a people person, who loved to help children and someone who always worked in jobs that also felt like ministry.  I questioned why I had stepped away from a career that I had thought was my calling and what I had worked so hard in school for.   I started to feel depressed and worried that I had missed my calling and that I just flat out was not doing what I was supposed to be doing, according to what God wanted for my life.  I even held it against my husband for a while- acting as if he took me away from my “calling,” even though this was a choice we both made together.   

I became very worried that I was living in a way that was against God’s will- all because I had changed careers.

Man, how many of us “churchy” folks have been worried about living within God’s will our whole lives; especially when talking about our career choice?  Even as a teenager, I worried about it.  I worried that I would not find my “calling” and would miss out on the wonderful life that God had planned because of it. 

When we ask what God’s will is for our lives, we first need to stop and ask ourselves what his will is, in general.  When Jesus was asked about what his greatest commandment was, he simply stated that the first and greatest one was to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matt 22:37).  He then stated that the second greatest one was to love your neighbor as yourself.  He said that all of the other rules stemmed from these two.  Again, as I’ve said multiple times, I am no theologian, so take or leave what I am about to say….. If Jesus stated these were the two most important laws, then wouldn’t it make sense that if we are following these two commandments we are living in his will?  Our specific job title is not important to God, but our heart, character, and how we love/treat others is what matters. 

Here I am, 13 years later, working at the same office, but I have worked my way up into the director position, which I would have never imagined would have happened for me when I started all those years ago.  You see, God knew what was coming my way, and I just had to step forward each day, one step at a time, work hard, love God and others, and trust that he was guiding my path.   I am now in a position where I truly feel like I can use all the skills and abilities he has given me and lead others in such a way that shows God’s love each day.  I am very grateful and happy to be where I am now and feel as if I’m living out my purpose.  I never would have thought back when I was working on my master’s degree in counseling that I would wind up using my counseling skills as a leader in an office one day and not actually as a counselor by trade.

So, take a deep breath, relax, and quit worrying about whether you should stop taking computer classes and join a monastery.   As long as you are following these two commandments, your actual career path is not important to God.  If you are living out these rules- or at least working on them daily because none of us are perfect at it- you are within his will for your life. 

I have spent many unnecessary years throughout my life worrying about this (before God healed my anxiety, of course), so I thought I’d share my revelation with you on this.  I hope that you will feel content with where you are now and not worry about whether you’re pursuing the career that God intended for you.  He cares about your heart- let him work on that first and the rest will fall into place.

With love,

Lyrica

Sabbathing Like Nobody's Business

 Growing up, I often heard the word “Sabbath” used by the adults around me.  To be honest, I mostly remember my adult family members arguing about what day of the week it should be celebrated- Saturday or Sunday- as well as whether we were still supposed to honor it.  As a kid, it sounded super boring and I worried it was a day where we either had to nap all day or sit and pray, read the Bible, or sing.  A day where doing anything that was actually fun was not allowed.  As an adult, I’ve had a mixture of feelings about it.  I have often felt like it’s a legalistic activity to participate in- under the old law that Jesus essentially erased when he came along.  I was pulling weeds one Sunday afternoon after church and I had a neighbor come and ask me if I was honoring the Sabbath by pulling weeds.  I honestly was a little offended at the time, but now that I know more about what the Sabbath is and the gift that it is, I see that his question was loving.

Some of you may be wondering what the Sabbath is.  In a nutshell, it all started with creation.  God created the world in 6 days and on the seventh day, he rested. Genesis 2:2 says that he finished the work he had been doing (you know, just some minor tasks like creating the oceans, sun, moon, and stars) and then rested on that day.  He not only blessed the seventh day, but he also made it holy.  It is profound to me that the introduction to the love story that is the Bible tells us that God found resting to be so sacred that he considered it holy.  In Deuteronomy, we read about the Ten Commandments.  One of the commandments that we often ignore is found in chapter 5, verse 12, where God commanded the Israelites to observe the Sabbath and not do any work on that day.  It was so important to God, that he had it on the list of the ten essential rules to follow.

I am apparently at a place in my life where I am suddenly open to this concept and my eyes have been opened to the fact that, all these years, I’ve never observed the Sabbath! Old rule or not, a full day of rest would certainly be a welcome gift- yet, I’ve ignored it. 

You would normally write a book review after finishing a book, right?  Well, if you have learned anything about me by now, you probably realize I tend to do things in life just a little bit differently, so you are getting a book review while I’m about halfway through a book.  I have been reading John Mark Comer’s book titled The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.  I am just so excited about it, that I can’t wait to tell you about it.  This book is life-changing.  In a brief synopsis, it’s about how we live in a distracted, hurried culture, where we are going full force all day every day and taking little to no time to rest.  When I say rest, I mean really resting.  Resting our souls.  It’s like the feeling we have after all of the Christmas activities have been completed and we’re cuddling up on the couch with our loves to watch a movie- feeling full satisfied and not worrying about anything else but being together at that point.  It’s getting in touch with who we truly are and focusing on who God is so that we know him and, thus, know ourselves as he is within us.  I know I am getting deep here, as you probably expected me to just talk about the importance of napping.  Don’t get me wrong- I am all for a good nap.  Big napping advocate here.  I personally do not take enough naps, whatsoever.   

It goes deeper than napping.  Mr. Comer defined the Sabbath in such easily understandable terms that I finally get it.  He notes that, as long as what you are doing can be defined as rest or worship, you are honoring the Sabbath.  Sitting down with friends and catching up over a bottle of wine- that’s resting, folks!  That may look different for each of us.  One thing that really stood out to me that he mentioned was that, if we are not honoring the Sabbath, we are going against the rhythm of life that God intended for us.  He rested on the first seventh day ever, which started the healthy rhythm and balance of life.  If we aren’t sabbathing, we are going against the grain.  We aren’t living the full, healthy, satisfied lives that God intended for us.  That makes sense, right?  I mean, how many of us feel unrested and dissatisfied much of the time?  It is because we are not taking the time to rest our souls.

Get you some Sabbath in your life.  I am committing to you right now that I am going to work at it.  I know it will take some getting used to, and my Monday through Fridays will look a little different to get ready for fully resting on Saturday, but I am ready to be in my natural rhythm.  I’m ready to enjoy rest, as God intended for me.  How about you?

With all my love,

Lyrica

To Give or Not to Give... That is the Question

Mose and I were asked to pray over the tithes and offerings at our church on Sunday.  It was such an honor to be asked to do it. However, I immediately felt a little nervous and knew that I needed to prepare what I wanted to say.  I knew I needed to ask God what I should say and how I should pray.  It was a big responsibility, and I did not want to mess it up.

Giving has always been a touchy subject for Christians.  Do we still tithe 10% as the word says in the Old Testament, even though we are living under the new covenant?  The concept of tithing and pastors asking for money have even turned many away from the church. We are sensitive about our money, to be sure!  How dare anyone tell us what to do with it?  Unless, of course, it’s our financial advisors… But, I digress…

After I asked the Lord to show me what he wanted me to say and what to pray for, he directed me to read 2 Corinthians chapters 8 and 9.  We often hear 2 Corinthians 9:7 quoted in the church, which talks about the importance of giving cheerfully and not because of feeling forced into it.  However, have you personally read both of these chapters in their entirety?  Paul is encouraging the church to give in these chapters and outlines the importance of it.  If you read them in their entirety and they do not convince you to give, I don’t know what will.

I grew up with parents who do not believe we should tithe to a particular church.  They believe we should give to “the church” which is believers, but also to the poor and needy in our community.  I would say I have adopted the same mentality, pretty much, as it is biblically sound.  However, for the last few years, my husband and I have steadily tithed and given it to a specific church.  I would say this comes from us trusting the church leadership to carefully steward it on our behalf.  They can make the money work for the community in a bigger way than we can.  It is important to watch and see what your church does with their money.  I know that’s blunt, and possibly a little painful for some of you churchy people to hear, but it’s the truth.  In our church, we see the leadership helping members in our congregation who need help, as well as helping out other churches in need, such as a church that sustained a building fire, for example.

Giving to others is essentially the premise of our faith- or religion- if you will. How do I know? James 1:27 says that pure religion in God’s eyes is caring for widows and orphans and refusing to let the world corrupt you (NLT).  I won’t get into the second point in that verse right now, but, we need to focus on the caring for widows and orphans part.  What does this look like?  In my mind, widows and orphans are some of the most vulnerable in our population.  They especially need our help.  When I think of this group, I also put single moms and their children in the same boat.  Paul told the church that, when we care for others by giving, we will lead them to God because they will be thankful to him (my paraphrasing and I am by far not a theologian!).  How much would we change the world if we cared for our vulnerable populations, such as single mothers?  If we help them financially and tell them it comes from the Lord, how could they not turn to him or at the very least be a little curious and possibly get one step closer to knowing God?  I was a single mom for a few years before I met Mose, and they were some of the toughest years of my life.  I was working full-time, going to school full-time, and raising my daughter.  I had many scary nights where I wanted to give up.  Had my church helped me out financially during that time, I likely would have leaned more on God and would have made smarter lifestyle choices!  I am just saying…

I love that my church gives to single mothers in our congregation. I’ve seen it happen a few times now, and it’s so beautiful.  It’s as it should be, and it honestly helps me to feel comfortable to continue to give directly to the church because I know they are stewarding it well.  If we do not have a church that is taking care of the community and the church members in such a way, then we need to take the extra step with our giving and directly support other ministries or organizations that are caring for the vulnerable people in our community.  In that way, we are fulfilling James 1:27. 

Since Mose and I have been tithing, we have not lacked.  We have even been generously blessed by God and many doors have opened to us in the last few years that I believe are in direct correlation.  I share this not to brag, but to encourage you to consider giving if you are not already doing so.  Pray and ask God what you should give and who you should give it to and be obedient.  When we give big, we are rewarded big.  I am not saying that means we’ll all become wealthy because that’s not what the word is saying.  Our rewards are mostly spiritual and therefore invaluable.

As Paul told the church, search your heart, and give what you believe you can give.  Don’t give so that you will suffer, and others will gain, but give so that we can have more equality amongst us.  Uh oh… that’s something a lot of Christians don’t want to hear- that whole equality piece.  That is the opposite of the old “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality.  But, you didn’t hear it from me… Paul said it first and it’s in God’s word, which means it comes directly from God.  Read the chapters and you’ll see.

With all my love,

Lyrica

Run Your Race

Hebrews 12:1 (NLT): “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

I jogged through my neighborhood at 5 a.m. this morning with my lovely neighbor and friend, Amy.  It was a pain to get up that early.  It was very cold, as it was 35 degrees.  I also went to bed too late last night, so I did not get a full night of rest. I had every reason to decide not to go but I made myself do it because I knew she was counting on me, and I knew I needed it.  I have been working at getting back into running regularly, so when she invited me to run with her a few mornings a week, I was excited to accept the offer.  The holidays and the weather have resulted in some breaks for us, but, overall, we have been getting after it and it has felt really good. This morning, I am feeling so energized! I need to remember this feeling the next time I feel unmotivated to run.

But, I digress.  The point of this post is not to guilt-shame you for not working out. Lord knows I have my many moments of not wanting to exercise and have kept my butt right on the couch or in bed. Running is such a metaphor for life. I have mentioned this before on my blog and I continue to feel this way.  Each of us is on our own path.  We are the main actors in our own production and everyone else is the supporting actors.  We each have our own race that God has set before us, as the verse mentions.  We live in a time where we are so overly focused on others’ lives by way of watching their stories on various social media platforms that we often forget to live out our own lives.  For instance, there have been many times when I planned to workout, write, or read a book that I’ve been meaning to read, only to start scrolling on my phone.  I become so enveloped in what is happening in my friends’ lives that I forget that I wanted to enrich my own life and I miss out on that.  I’m not running my race because I’m too busy watching everyone else’s.

Of course, we want to support and encourage others and we should not be selfish.  We should always have a mindset of ministry and of being a servant.  That is our primary race and it requires great endurance.  It is difficult to be a servant and to constantly work on being unselfish.  How can we serve others if we are always distracted?  I am certainly guilty, as I’ve mentioned several times on my blog, so I am lovingly sharing my thoughts on this for both of our benefits.  I encourage you today to run your race.  What does your specific, individual race look like?  What were you placed on this earth to do?  It’s time to pray and ask God to show you what that is – and listen to what he says.  If you are not in his word, and not praying and sitting in his presence often, you will have a hard time hearing his answer, by the way.  

When I run full marathons (that is 26.2 miles for those that don’t know and think any race is called a marathon- it’s not!), I stop and take photos, I meet new friends, and it’s a whole experience for me.  That’s the race I choose to run.  When we are running our “race” of life, we similarly need to take the time to enjoy it in such a way.  Take the time to capture the special moments and invest in others.  Take the time to hear God’s voice and enjoy his friendship.  Don’t run so hard and stay so focused that you miss out on the little things that make life so precious.   We can run with endurance and enjoy the race at the same time, so we need to remember that.  As the verse mentions, staying away from sin is going to help us run the race that God meant for us.  It will also help us enjoy it.  I could write a whole book on this, but I’ll keep it brief for those of you that are like me and have a short attention span.  God didn’t give us rules to follow in order to make our lives boring. It is the opposite, actually. If we stay away from sin (we can never be perfect, of course!), we can live the fullest lives possible and enjoy all that he intended for us to enjoy.  It’s really that simple. 

Let’s run our own races, friends, and be the best we can be – for ourselves and others.  Don’t let life pass by and miss out on all that God intended for you.  The path for your race is open and ready for you to get on it.  What are you waiting for?

With all my love,

Lyrica 

Daniel Fast 2024

 Every January for the past three years or so, my husband and I have done the Daniel Fast. This is a corporate fast that people typically do with their church. It’s a 21-day fast that traditionally starts on Jan 1^st.  It’s a reset for the new year, focusing on spiritual and physical health. It derives from the scripture, Daniel 10:3, where Daniel went on a no meat, bread, wine, or “rich foods” (depending on the translation you read) fast while he was praying for his people and about all of the sinfulness that was going on.  What this has translated to in modern times is a fast from all white flour, meat/animal products, alcohol, and added/refined sugar.  We only eat brown rice, legumes/beans, vegetables, and fruits.  The first few times I participated in this fast were tough.

Let me tell you, the first time I gave up caffeine as a part of this fast, I went through major withdrawal. I had horrible headaches and even experienced leg cramping! I was like a zombie walking around for a few days.  My caffeine-addicted self didn’t know what to do.

 I am in a different place spiritually this time around, I think, because it has not been too terrible.  It is tough, but I feel so good and healthy that it is difficult to feel like I’m missing out most of the time.  I do kind of miss bread right now, as we’ve just started the last full week of the fast. 

Throughout the fast so far this time, I’ve enjoyed making healthy, plant-based dishes, such as all veggie lasagna, where you make the sauce from scratch, the “meat” is the mushrooms, you use thinly sliced zucchini as your “noodles” and the “ricotta” is made out of cashews, spices, lemon juice, and nutritional yeast.  It is seriously yummy- even my family loves it.

Our prayers have had a different focus each year with the Daniel Fast.  This time around, my husband and I have been praying for a strengthened marriage, a stronger relationship with the Lord, and for strengthened relationships with our children.  I do feel at this moment that our prayers are being answered.  There is always room for growth, but our marriage is getting stronger.  Our communication is improving, which is the key to a healthy relationship.   I feel like the Lord is preparing us for ministry. 

There are many reasons to fast, and fasting in general has become a popular trend in American life.   We have apps on our phones to help track certain fasts, and we are doing juice cleanses, and resets with our bodies to get back on the right track physically.  What we need to realize is that we are also spiritually connected to food.  Ever heard the term you are what you eat? There’s a reason that saying came about.  When we are eating whole foods and primarily eating a plant-based diet, we are healthier and more in tune with how God created us to be.  We are more like God, which is what he intended when he created us (Gen 1:26-27).

The fast this year has inspired me to primarily remain on a vegan diet going forward, as I feel better and as I know this will ultimately help me live a longer life and live the life God intended for me.   I know that our relationship with food in general is a struggle.  My prayer is that we focus on living the healthiest life we can so that we can live out the life God meant for us.  He never wanted us to die early because of heart disease or a diet-related cancer.  If this is a struggle for you and you’d like me to pray for you about this, please let me know in the comments.

I love you, all, and hope you have a great week!

The Greatest

 I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately.  While God did heal my overwhelming anxiety overall, I still feel some increased stress and worry at times, due to situations that pop up.  I have also been feeling really distracted lately. There is just simply too much to do all the time and I have been feeling the weight of it all lately.  It causes me to shut down, which causes problems because I am not completing all the tasks that I need to.  I have not been feeling like I am managing it all well and have felt discouraged about myself and my flaws. 

It is by no coincidence that I was reading the book of Matthew this morning and turned to Chapter 18.   After his disciples asked which people were the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, Jesus explained to his disciples in this chapter that children were the greatest people in the kingdom and that we must become like them to enter heaven.  I have heard this verse throughout my life but after rereading it this morning, my mind was a little blown.  We need to think deeply about what this means if we are interested in entering heaven. 

What are the characteristics of children?  What is it about them that makes them special?  Well, for one, they are trusting.  Even after being hurt, they trust those caring for them will protect them.  They easily forgive and move on quickly.  Children are also giving and compassionate.  They will see another child- or even adult- in need and will naturally want to help them.  They are optimistic.  More often than not, they choose to think about the bright side of things and believe that everything will work out in the end.  They are also playful and imaginative.  They spend lots of time playing, having fun, and making up fun situations and stories.  Almost anything is possible for a child. If they have an idea, they truly believe that it can come true. 

In their natural state, unless we have harmed them to the point where they have become hardened and forced to grow up too fast, children exhibit all these characteristics and more.  So, in essence, we need to exhibit these characteristics, as well.  I can tell you that I need to work on all these things!  I am often pessimistic, for example.  I am not playful enough.  I do not trust God enough at times, which causes me to be fearful and uncomfortable.

May the Lord help us all to become more like children.  If we want this for ourselves, if we want to enter the kingdom of heaven- here on earth- or in the spiritual realm once we die- we must pray and ask God to help us to have these characteristics.  As busy adults, it will require us to slow down, remove distractions, and focus on God, our families, and others.  If this sounds daunting to you, take baby steps towards this.  Take one bite out of the elephant, as they say, and do not try to eat the whole thing at once.  Turn off your cell at 8 p.m. each night and spend time reading a book or the Bible from 8 to 9, instead.  Plan to call or get together with one friend once a week to establish and take care of your relationships.  Start volunteering for an organization that has a cause that is dear to your heart.  There are many things that you can do to develop more childlike characteristics, and these are just a few of them.  I encourage you to think about what this means to you.  I am sure that I missed several characteristics that you may be thinking of. Write them down, decide which ones resonate the best with you, and create a plan to work on that for yourself.   I know that I am craving that childlike freedom and carefree mindset, and I am going to ask God daily to help me with this.  Life is too short.  Let’s all get back to the basics and be like children as much as possible!