Til Death Do Us Part

I read a story this morning about an elderly couple that had been married for 66 years and that had died on the same day.  They both waited for each other to die and then they essentially died together. The wife had been ill, and one day, the husband heard his wife was about to die, so he became very ill on that same day.  He died, then she died within hours.  

I am amazed and encouraged by this story.  Is love really that strong that when one finds out his mate is going to die, that he too can physically become so ill that he also dies?!  

This story reminds me of my grandparents.  They were so much in love until their deaths, that they did not live too long without each other.  After my grandma passed, my grandfather did not live for long much after.  They had such a precious love.

 

Love is so powerful, yet we tend to fight it. 

Some of us try to not fall in love because we are so afraid of what may happen if the love is not reciprocated.  It does take faith in another person to love them.  We let that fear take control and then we never get the chance to feel the kind of love described above because we have been shut down by that fear.  You just have to take that risk!!

After my husband and I had just been married (and during our dating), I gave him hell ('scuse my French).  I gave him hell because I had been hurt so badly by most of the other men in my life, starting with my father.  I was afraid to love him because of that hurt. 

One day, I felt God ask me a question.  He asked, do you want my blessing, or do you want to continue to live a painful life?  Of course, this is a rhetorical question, because, who wants to continue to live in pain? 

Mose and I have had rough moments, of course, during our married life, and we will continue to.  However, when I answered that question from God with an outstanding YES, I WANT THE BLESSING!,  I made a decision to stop the pain I was giving Mose just because another man had created that pain.  Our relationship has strengthened tenfold because of this, and I know, through God's grace, it will continue to grow.

I'm writing all of this to try to help you to understand that pain causes fear, but you can pray against that fear and ask God to open your heart to love. 

When you find that love, I hope that you will fight for it, because it is more precious than anything else life can give you.

Addiction

The truth is... I actually do not like running.  In fact, most days I wake up dreading the run I'm about to do and once I get started, most of the time, I simply cannot wait for it to be over with.  I hear a lot of my runner friends talking about running as if they truly love it.  It's hard for me, and I'm slow, and my body often hurts while I'm running. 

So why do I do it? I guess it's because I'm addicted to it.  I'm addicted to the feeling that I have after I'm done running. I'm addicted to the endorphins.

I don't know if it's in my genetic makeup, but I do know that I have a tendency to become addicted very quickly to things.  I've just been fortunate enough to pick up mostly healthy addictive behaviors. 

An unhealthy addiction that I have, however, is with checking my phone.  I swear, my phone is like a crack rock some days.  I feel so compelled some days to check my phone, that I often have to make a real effort to leave it alone.  It takes more than my own power to not look at it, though. I have to pray OUT LOUD to God that I don't overuse my phone sometimes. 

I can't be the only one out there that feels or thinks this way...

The reason why this is an issue for me is because I would hate for my children to have fond memories of their childhood, but most of their memories involve me being on my phone while we're doing an activity.  It's a very unpleasant feeling I experience when I think about that possibility. 

The reason why addiction exists is because it is a great tool used by our enemy to keep us away from God and all that is good in life. 

Please don't misunderstand, I am not taking other kinds of addiction (i.e. drugs, porn, alcohol) lightly in this post, as I know those addictions are very serious. 

I've just had it on my heart lately to discuss this topic, as I think many of us struggle with our own addictions, whether they are dangerous or not.  Your addiction might be to a certain person who is not good for your life.  It might be to a particular way of thinking that you're used to.  Some addictions can be healthy and lead us to a prosperous life, but so many of our addictions will lead us to sickness and possibly to death, which is the enemy's ultimate goal. 

Granola Kids

Being named Lyrica isn't something that happens when you have average parents. 

First, my biological father is a very talented musician.  He can play guitar and make it sound like several other instruments are playing with him when it's just his guitar. 

Now let me tell you about my momma.  First of all, she is beautiful.  When someone says I look like her, I could just kiss them because this is truly the ultimate compliment.

Since she was a teenager in the 70's and since she had very frugal parents, she made a lot of her own clothes.  She also was an artist, which is a trait she inherited from several family members. Yes, she was a hippie. 

My mom continued her hippie "ways" into her adulthood, as she gave birth to all five of us kids at home.  She don't need no stinkin doctors!! Yep, she is pretty much a super woman.

Since we were on a tight budget with five kids and since she had hippie roots, my mom also sewed a lot of our clothes too.  I will never forget how much in love I was with the Little House on the Prairie dress that she made for me.  She even made the bonnet.  Oh yes, I was Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Not only did my mom sew our clothes, but she made much of the food that we ate from scratch.  She cooked and baked from scratch for health reasons, because she wanted us to eat as healthy as possible.  She grew a garden in the back yard, and we even raised a couple of chickens for eggs.  Mind you, we lived in a regular residential neighborhood.  If there was a Home Owner's Association, we were certainly breaking some rules.

I will share some chicken stories later...

I also remember even having to eat cod liver oil as a child for some reason... I think to get over a cold...but my memory is kind of fuzzy on that one...  However, it could have just been just to be healthy!  Regardless, it felt more like punishment than anything else.  Please do not give this stuff to your children! I don't care how healthy it is. Don't do it.

My mom is one healthy, cool chick.  I will also never forget the fact that after she had her last baby, my youngest sister, she went on a jog around the neighborhood not too long after she gave birth.  In fact, I believe that much of my drive to be active and healthy comes from values she instilled in me from a young age.

In her "older" age, she rides horses and motorcycles and she continues to be the fun, creative, lovely woman she has always been.  I just love her.

I'm not going to spend my life being a color, and yes, white is a color

Life in a bi-racial family is awesome.  Our family is not awesome because we are bi-racial, but because my husband and I found love and built a family together, which has become awesome, just like many other families out there. 

Some people are unsure of what to think when they see us together.  The people that are unsure, will stare and won't necessarily smile back right away after I've smiled at them to let them know I see them staring.  They just kind of have a quizzical look on their faces, like they find it hard to believe that this big black man and little white girl could really be happy together.   I'm not sure, because people are not very direct, oftentimes, but it seems like they think that possibly one of us is not being authentic. 

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and hope that they are not being racist, but... racism is alive and well in America, and it has dug roots so deep that people don't even realize they are being racist when they are. 

Two people who look different from each other on the outside may have very similar personalities, ideas and beliefs.  It is also possible for the two people to acknowledge and appreciate any cultural differences they may have, at the same time.  Mose and I take the time to notice and appreciate these differences, as we know our two individual selves have created this wonderful relationship that we share.  We do not deny our individual heritages.

Overall, I feel sorry for people who have confined themselves to a box and believe that they can only be happy with someone who looks like them or with someone who comes from a similar upbringing.  Those people are limiting some potentially great possibilities for themselves, as you truly never know who you might 'click' with. 

Mose and I gave love a chance and I'm so glad that we did. 

How I became a crazy person

I never-in-a-million-years thought I would ever be able to run in a marathon.  I was never a runner growing up.  In fact, I was one of the slowest kids during our timed one-mile tests during my high school PE classes.  I was slow. I was winded. I had no endurance. 

I had done a little running while in college, but I was not a serious, long-distance runner. A little over two years ago, I decided that I needed a new goal in life.  I was under a great deal of stress because of moving to a new city, parenting issues, etc., so I thought that it would be a great idea to start running.  I knew it had been a great stress reliever during college. 

After my first race, which was a benefit for the Red Cross, I was hooked.  I remember looking around at all of the other participants and realizing that I looked like them! I really didn't see too many people that had a perfect 'runners body.'  There was people from all walks of life, black, white, young, old, skinny, and not-so-skinny.  That race was a 10k, which is a little over six miles.  I made the worst face crossing the finish line, because I was working so hard... Of course, it was captured by a family member, and of course, it was immediately put on Facebook so the world could see my horrible 'race face', as we like to call it.  This, my friends, is the reason why, from now on, I will smile at any moment that I even sense that a camera is anywhere near my direction while I'm running.

After that race, I decided I needed to do a half-marathon (13.1 miles).  After the half-marathon, I knew that I would be capable of running in a full marathon (26.2 miles).  Now that I've done one marathon, I've decided I need to do one every year.

So, I am now one of those 'crazy' people that you see running around.  I have yet to buy a fannie pack for my gear.... but it's not completely out of the question at this point. 

I'm not even joking.

Hello, meet my boob

I'm a happily married woman now, but when I was in the dating world, while I was a single mom, it was pretty rough. I had a hard time meeting any decent men. I did meet and date one nice guy, whom shall remain nameless. We were really just getting to know eachother and I had just introduced him to my daughter when we decided to take her to the swimming pool.  It was a great idea in theory,  but it ended up moving our relationship along faster than I wanted. Let's just say, when a two year old wants to grab her mom's boob (pulling away the suit and exposing said boob) while she's wearing a bikini for no apparent reason,  a two year old will do what she wants. The words 'awkward' and 'mortified' do not even describe the feelings I had at that moment. He was a gentlemen about it, thankfully, and thankfully he and I didn't work out. I wouldn't have met my wonderful man that I have now if we would have. 

I guess the moral of the story is, be careful how you choose to go on dates, all you single parents out there! You never know if you'll be prematurely exposed against your will.

Going the distance

"The keys to surviving trials are endurance and faithfulness. " Pastor Joe Johnson

I've survived some trials in my life. I've lived through childhood sexual abuse,  through divorce, through poverty, single motherhood, and the list goes on. 

I loved hearing this quote above tonight at church because it is so true. I've only endured these trials because I've remained faithful.  Yes, I've questioned my faith at times, and yes, I've had times of little faith.  The bottlem line is that I've truly only endured this race of life because of the hope that God has given me that there is greatness coming.  He loves me so much and he has big plans for me.

I think that is why I love running so much.  It reminds me of the tough roads of life that I've gone down. Every time I set a goal,  whether it be another mile ran, a new speed, or any other short or long term goal, I know that I can reach it if I just remain faithful to my training and endure the pain, the sacrifices it takes to get there.

I can do all things....including surviving abuse....including running a marathon...through Christ.

Nuthin but a Kid Thing

We were pretty strange children growing up.   When you have five kids in a family you often have to find creative ways to entertain yourself, and we surely did that. For instance, we loved to memorize movies.  We would watch a scene in a movie, then stop the tape (yes, they were tapes back then), repeat back the lines that were said in that scene, then play the next scene, and so on.  I guess we were dorks, but it was fun!  The best movie to do this with was The Princess Bride.  Yep, I still have it mostly memorized.   I also went through a little 'thugette' stage  and I literally did the same thing with my Snoop Dog and Dre tape in the sixth grade.  Yes, it's still memorized.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I can sing 'Nuthin but a G Thing' like nobody's business.  By the way, there are still some people that listen to tapes....Effie Fulton....

Another one of my favorite childhood memories was making a play or concert in our rooms.  We turned our bunk bed once into a castle and performed Snow White.  I was Snow White (of course) and my sister was the evil witch.  She was way too cute to play a witch, but she loved making the 'scary' witch faces while she 'beed mean' to me.  My brother played the prince, of course, and he rode up on his toy At-At (yes, from Star Wars) to save me from the 'evil' witch.  

When I got a little bit older, I turned myself into Janet Jackson and performed a Rhythm Nation concert for my family.  My brother took care of the sound and lights, and I put on a perfect Rhythm Nation outfit (dark clothes, hat, etc.) and lip synced to several songs from the tape.

I still have not yet gone to see a Janet Jackson concert.  It's on my bucket list.

Introduction

Welcome to my blog! I started my blogging journey back in 2013.  At that time, I was not sure what it would become but the plan was to share my life story within regular posts.  I have taken breaks throughout the years for various reasons. If I'm being honest, the main reason would be due to fear and being afraid of sharing private stories with the world.  Here I am, 10 years later, and have recently found a new passion for writing again. I have committed myself to posting every Tuesday (for at least one year).  The plan is to continue to share my life experiences, mixed in with inspiration I've received from reading God's word. Some may think my writings are too religious or churchy, and I get that. I've been where you are if you are thinking that. My hope for you is that you read my blog with an open mind and heart.  I am not here to brag about my life.  I am writing to share my truths, and to give you hope.  I am sure that many of you have gone through similar struggles and may not realize that there is hope for a better future.

If my story helps just one person find God and therefore find peace, love, and hope, then I've accomplished my goal. I have fulfilled my purpose.  

Here is my original introduction, written in August 2013:

Well, I have officially joined the dorky world of blogging.  This is the age of sharing your whole life story with perfect strangers via various social networks, so I guess I will just participate in the cultural norm and add my two cents on my version of the world.  It seems somewhat self absorbed to talk about yourself every day.  However, I want to be a 'real' writer someday, so, I guess, this is my first stab at it.  This blog will basically be a journal of my life.  I am a little woman with a BIG mind that needs a place to unwind; hence the name of my title (shout out to Carina Hubbard for the name idea). I've lived through so many life experiences, I truly think I can relate to most anyone out there.  Just ask me, and I've probably been through it.  I'm not really sure what will wind up on here, but I plan to share just about everything.  I do not think that God puts us through what we can handle, as some people like to say, but I do think that he helps us through what life (sometimes caused by our own mistakes) throws at us.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I cherish the opportunity to share my story and to give you hope. There is so much more to life than just the physical aspects of it- and that should be obvious to us all.  So, why not take the time to think about it some more and open your mind to the possibility?

Bottom line: As my dad always says, there is a God, he knows your name, and he wants to talk.

Love y'all!!

-Lyrica