13 Years

It was around July 2000, during the end of my Sophomore year of college, when I found out that I was pregnant.  I had only been dating my boyfriend of the time for three months.  I was devastated.  Every negative emotion flooded through me: disbelief, anger, fear, sadness and disappointment.  I cried for most of the day on the day I found out.  I could not believe that Lyrica, the missionary girl who traveled to Africa and ministered to widows and orphans just a couple years prior, had become pregnant.  My life as I knew it would never be the same. 

I had a choice to make.  I remember thinking about abortion.  I thought that I could possibly just do what other young women my age were doing and end the pregnancy.  I could have just continued to live the life that I was living.  The thought of ending the life of my baby was too unbearable.  Every time that the possibility crossed my mind, I cried and I felt a quiet, whispering voice say to me: "She could be the President some day.... She could change this world." 

I knew that once I told my parents, that abortion would no longer be an option, as they have always been against it.  However, having to tell them was one of the worst moments of my life.  I was visiting them over the weekend and I sat on the end of their bed one night and cried as I told them that I was pregnant.  They cried with me- out of sheer disappointment- and I knew it.  I knew that they thought I was no longer the girl they thought I was.   However, I also knew that they were going to continue to love me and help me with whatever they could in raising my baby.

It was in that moment that I knew that I was going to continue to work extremely hard to accomplish my goals, despite the odds.  I also knew that I loved my baby and I was so thankful to have my parents' support.  However, I decided that if they could not help me, or if they ever decided not to help me, I was still going to do my best to raise my baby and provide a wonderful life for her.  I would just have to seek out every available resource in order to do so.

After my baby girl was born, I named her Harmony because I knew that she would bring Harmony to my life.  Despite my sin, God blessed me with this amazing miracle.  I didn't deserve to be given this gift, but God still gave her to me. 

At the moment I'm writing this, my little baby is about to turn 13 years old.  My life has been changed by this amazing girl and she has made a positive impact on many others' lives as well. 

I'm writing this to anyone out there that has this tough choice to make.  If you ever are in this position and need a listening ear, I'm here for you.  I've been there.  I know the pain.  I also know what to do to succeed, despite the odds.  God tells us that he knows us before we are even born.  I'm so thankful that he knew Harmony the second she was conceived. 

In fact, the voice that whispered to me over 13 years ago that she would change the world some day was right. 

Angels Are Scary

Some people will think that I'm crazy for writing this.  There are many people that choose to not believe in the supernatural, but I do because I've experienced having a spiritual, non-human being around me during my life-time on more than one occasion.

This is difficult to write about, but one of you reading this might need to read it today, so here you go..

When I was a child, my dad often sexually abused me at night time when I was asleep.  He would come into my room and lay with me in my bed.  One night, instead of my dad coming into the room, I saw an angel in my room standing and praying over me and my sister.  I was terrified of it.  I couldn't hardly look at it because I knew it was something that was very abnormal and that most people would never see.  I called my mom the other day to ask her about this incident and see if maybe it was her instead of an angel.  She told me that it may have been her, but that she did not remember.  I believe with everything that I am, even if it was my mother standing there, there was also a spiritual being there that was not of this world who was there to protect me. The abuse stopped shortly after that and my dad moved out.

Earlier this year I had another supernatural experience that I feel compelled to share.   I was on a morning jog and it was dark outside.  As I always do, when starting out the jog, I said a prayer for God to protect me.  After a bit, I was jogging along and heard a dog bark.  I didn't have headphones on, which I do not usually wear when I'm running in the dark due to safety precautions, but I still couldn't tell how close the dog was.  I felt fearful so I began to pray.  I prayed that God would immediately place a guardian angel beside me while I ran.  Within seconds, every hair on my head stood up and I FELT something beside me. I could not see it, but I knew that an angel was right there with me.

Some of you may never understand the depth of the love that God has for you, because you choose to not open your eyes to the world beyond the physical.  I have felt his love and protection throughout my life, so I get it.

Call me crazy, "unfriend" me if you want after this, but I had to share it with you.  God is real, and as my step-dad says, he knows your name and he wants to talk.