I wonder if people realize how embarrasing it can be to be poor. I mean, I wonder if people who have never been poor really understand that there are many people who are poor who feel extremely embarrassed to be poor.
When you grow up poor, or even sometimes when you grow up in what is considered the lower-middle class bracket (i.e. "working class poor"), the feelings that come with it really never go away.
My family struggled financially after my parents divorce. I remember feeling VERY embarrased when I had to stand in the "poor kids" line in my school's cafeteria. I knew that the kids standing in the other line knew that I received free lunch. I would sometimes skip lunch because I was too embarrased to stand in that line. I also wore horrible glasses, and I just "knew" that other kids knew I was wearing welfare glasses, so I was embarrased about wearing them too.
When I became a single mom and was forced to use food stamps, I was VERY embarrased of having to use them. I was ashamed when the cashiers would ask me what I would be using as my method of payment. I was ashamed because I thought I would never be "poor" as an adult; yet, there I was, using government welfare services.
Now that I am getting closer to mid-life (gulp), I am not poor at all. I am not rich, but, in the perspective of how many people around the world live, I am not poor. However, I still feel that sense of shame sometimes when I am talking with my peers- colleagues, friends, general associates, and it comes out of nowhere. For instance, I was explaining to a coworker today about moving into a different part of town in order for my daughter to attend a certain high school. After the conversation, I felt embarrassed that I told the coworker this, beause I thought that person probably sends his child to private school and so he might feel sorry for me now that he knows my child attends public school.
I could give many other examples of recent experiences in which I had no reason to feel ashamed or embarrased of my circumstances, but I still did. I know it sounds crazy, but I thought I would share this, so that others would know the deep roots that poverty plants in people. In other words, continue to be kind to everyone you come in contact with.
The next time you feel judgmental about the lady using the EBT card in the grocery store line, think about how she might feel about her circumstances. I can assure you, she's not proud of them.
