Friend Request

 It has been almost three weeks since I’ve been on a social media strike. Over two weeks ago, I published my blog post and then deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps.  I saved my Twitter account, but only because that is the only site that doesn’t block me from posting my blog.  I don’t even know how to use it, to be honest, so I am not tempted to spend hours on it, anyway.  I decided to take a social media break because I am sick of having fake friendships.  I crave authentic relationships.  Friends and family who reach out to me outside of SM and whom I spend time with.  Coincidently, since I took this break, I have had to undergo surgery to remove a kidney stone and for kidney stent placement.  I had outpatient surgery on September 8 and was in a little pain afterward.  During my recovery time, it was wonderful to see that I have some friends and family members who care about me, as several of them have been checking on me and asking me to let them know if I need anything.  I feel loved!  This love from them feels real since it hasn’t been coming from social media posts.  Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of people that I am “friends” with on social media that I love to keep in touch with and I’d hate to disconnect from them entirely.  However, it just doesn’t compare to real friendship.  I am proud to have some amazing friends- both virtually and in real life- but from here on out, I want to focus more on my real-life friendships, as those will always be more beneficial than SM connections. 

Social media has just been one huge distraction for me. I’ve spent countless hours reading about other people’s lives and seeing their pictures as if my seeing their posts- or them seeing mine- makes a difference in the world around me.  I have spent far too much time sharing (bragging maybe?) about my life with others, when I should be sharing photos and experiences with my true loved ones, instead.  I honestly feel like I’ve missed out on so much of life, especially when I’m at home with my family, because of being distracted by social media.  I feel a huge amount of guilt about how much time I’ve spent staring at my phone around my children, instead of focusing on them. How many lost opportunities have there been where we could have had a valuable conversation?  Also, I worry that my phone addiction has only modeled terrible habits for my children.  They have their phone addictions now, and I feel partially to blame. Thankfully, there are apps available that can help you limit your time on your phone, which I recently started using, such as Stay Free.  They will collect the amount of time you’ve spent and help you stay accountable.  When I see those hours, I tend to put my phone down more.  If you are also struggling with this, another suggestion would be to set time frames for yourself as to when you can be on social media. So, you might tell yourself that you can only be on it 1 hour per day, or maybe not past 9 p.m.

There are some benefits to social media.  One of the main ones, I would say, is to stay connected with others, especially those that you may not otherwise be in touch with, such as distant relatives and old friends from high school.  We can instantly share photos, personal accomplishments, and fun experiences with many people at once, which can also be great.  It’s just important to remember that these connections should not replace true connections and friendships.

It is time to work on myself and conquer my social media (and smartphone) addiction. Time is precious and I need to quit wasting it in this manner.  I want to write and spend time working on my craft, instead.  I need to work out, I want to read, spend time with my family, plant flowers, and be present. Does anyone else feel this way?  It’s honestly a little embarrassing to write about it but putting it out there helps me remain accountable to myself and to working on this.  I wonder how many others out there feel the same way. On the off chance that some of my blog readers feel the same, I thought I’d share this. I want to encourage you to do what you need to do to create a better life for yourself.  Even if that means going against the grain and doing things differently than everyone else.  I am taking a stand for real connectedness and less distractions from the true, good things in life, and I hope you do, too.