True Religion

 I listen to a lot of Audible books. I love to listen to them while I am driving and find it is a great way to pass the time while driving.  I listen to books on leadership, love and marriage, self-help books, and I love memoirs.  I enjoy listening to them, comparing my writing style, and learning writing techniques while I listen, as well as working on personal growth as I learn lessons from them.  I am currently listening to “Bamboozled by Jesus” by Yvonne Orji and it is great so far!  The last two books I listened to were “Counting the Cost” by Jill Duggar Dillard and “Unspeakable” by Jessica Willis Fischer.  I am intrigued by their stories.  Both women were raised in very large families where their parents practiced strict, cult-like, religious rules and their fathers were also abusive.  I am drawn to their stories because I was raised similarly.  I was the second oldest of 5 children, which was a large family compared to most families I knew at that time (and now!).  My parents also led us to believe and practice Christianity.  Although we were allowed to wear pants as girls (the Duggar girls could not), we were homeschooled for a few years, as the Duggar and Willis children were.  I think my parents thought at that time that the world’s education would corrupt our minds, which is why the Duggar and Willis children were also homeschooled.  Both families were musically inclined.  My dad is a brilliant guitarist.  He led worship at church while I was a child and would often play his guitar at the house. He never forced us- or even encouraged us- to play our own musical instruments, however.   While those seemingly positive attributes existed on the surface, just below the surface, both fathers of the Duggar and Willis families were abusive.  Mr. Duggar (Jim Bob) was abusive in his controlling and manipulation of his children.  He also essentially allowed his son Josh to continue in his deviant sexually abusive behavior by sweeping it under the rug throughout his life.  Toby Willis was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive to his family.  Both were extremely religious- and yet also abusive. 

My dad was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive - and religious.  He would yell and curse at my mom and at us and would often have fits of rage over the slightest things, such as seeing a messy room in the house or over one of us losing a toy on a vacation.  He cheated on my mom multiple times, even bringing me to a mistress's house one time.  He would touch me in inappropriate ways and pretend he was tickling or cuddling me. He pretended it was normal parental behavior and tricked my mom – and myself- into thinking the same.  I think he even tricked himself into believing it was normal or acceptable.

One would think that if you were raised this way you would be quick to get away from religion as an adult.  It seems that the Duggar children have all continued to follow Christianity, despite their upbringing; however, thankfully, the oldest daughters have left the beliefs of the IBLP cult their family followed.  After reading Jessica’s book, it seems she may have some anger towards it, and it is unclear (to me) if she still believes.  I can see how that would happen, given the way she was raised and how evil her dad was. 

The Bible says that true religion, the only religion that God accepts as pure, is to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep from being polluted by the world (James 1:27).  Whoa- hold up- I knew about the widow and orphan part, but that last part? We are actually supposed to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world?!  The last part of the verse is often ignored by a lot of Christians who want to live as if they will just be forgiven for everything, so they do whatever they want all the time. They push that grace aspect hard!  I will be honest; I was today years old when I realized this part of the verse was there. I always knew about the widows and orphans part, but the second part is key- and yet many of us have missed it.  I think it is easy for us to ignore it because we want to live like everyone else.  But we are called to be different.  

The Duggar and Willis families, and even my own family, took to heart the “being different” part of the verse (and many other verses in the Bible).  However, they missed a part of the equation- the relationship part.  We can only truly minister to widows and orphans and even try to live unpolluted from the world, out of relationship with Jesus.  It would be impossible to do any of these things completely and selflessly without that.  When children are raised with religion and without a relationship, they are starved of the true beauty and magnificence of God and what he brings to our lives if we choose to follow and serve him.  While my dad had religion in his heart, he did not have the relationship with Jesus that he thought he had.  If he had a pure relationship, he would have repented his evil ways and would have sought help.  He would have stopped and never abused another person again. Unfortunately, that was not the case with him.  I pray that he has found a true relationship with Jesus now, as that is what true freedom from sin - and the demons that attack us - is all about.

I am starting to change.  I am starting to see things differently.  I am bothered more by unrighteous things now than I ever have been.  It is not about trying to be perfect or being better than anyone. I simply want to please and honor God with my life.  I want my life to be an act of worship to him.  I want to worship him in spirit and in truth which means I want to live each day as a statement of worship.  It is not because I want to be perfect or have a fear of not being perfect, it is because I love him, revere him, and want to please him.  If we truly love God, this is what Christianity should look like.  Many of us, including myself, have gotten it wrong. This has led many others astray and away from God.  Why would anyone want to follow God or learn about him if all the Christians they know do all the same things they do and speak, and think the same?  We are called to be different.  The Duggar and Willis families stand out in this world because they are different.  Unfortunately, the parents in those families got caught up in other things and turned away from having a pure relationship with Jesus.  The world watched and assumed this would happen because the world does not understand Jesus as we as Christians (should) understand him.  Let’s be different.  Let’s truly follow Jesus and worship him by the way we live our lives. Others will start to be more curious and will want what we have.  If they don’t see it, they won’t want it, and we have missed the opportunity to show them who God is and what his love means for all of us.  I encourage you today to make the changes in your life that you need to so that you are living a life of worship.  Let’s do it together!

I love you all so much, but Jesus loves you exceedingly more.

Friend Request

 It has been almost three weeks since I’ve been on a social media strike. Over two weeks ago, I published my blog post and then deleted my Facebook and Instagram apps.  I saved my Twitter account, but only because that is the only site that doesn’t block me from posting my blog.  I don’t even know how to use it, to be honest, so I am not tempted to spend hours on it, anyway.  I decided to take a social media break because I am sick of having fake friendships.  I crave authentic relationships.  Friends and family who reach out to me outside of SM and whom I spend time with.  Coincidently, since I took this break, I have had to undergo surgery to remove a kidney stone and for kidney stent placement.  I had outpatient surgery on September 8 and was in a little pain afterward.  During my recovery time, it was wonderful to see that I have some friends and family members who care about me, as several of them have been checking on me and asking me to let them know if I need anything.  I feel loved!  This love from them feels real since it hasn’t been coming from social media posts.  Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of people that I am “friends” with on social media that I love to keep in touch with and I’d hate to disconnect from them entirely.  However, it just doesn’t compare to real friendship.  I am proud to have some amazing friends- both virtually and in real life- but from here on out, I want to focus more on my real-life friendships, as those will always be more beneficial than SM connections. 

Social media has just been one huge distraction for me. I’ve spent countless hours reading about other people’s lives and seeing their pictures as if my seeing their posts- or them seeing mine- makes a difference in the world around me.  I have spent far too much time sharing (bragging maybe?) about my life with others, when I should be sharing photos and experiences with my true loved ones, instead.  I honestly feel like I’ve missed out on so much of life, especially when I’m at home with my family, because of being distracted by social media.  I feel a huge amount of guilt about how much time I’ve spent staring at my phone around my children, instead of focusing on them. How many lost opportunities have there been where we could have had a valuable conversation?  Also, I worry that my phone addiction has only modeled terrible habits for my children.  They have their phone addictions now, and I feel partially to blame. Thankfully, there are apps available that can help you limit your time on your phone, which I recently started using, such as Stay Free.  They will collect the amount of time you’ve spent and help you stay accountable.  When I see those hours, I tend to put my phone down more.  If you are also struggling with this, another suggestion would be to set time frames for yourself as to when you can be on social media. So, you might tell yourself that you can only be on it 1 hour per day, or maybe not past 9 p.m.

There are some benefits to social media.  One of the main ones, I would say, is to stay connected with others, especially those that you may not otherwise be in touch with, such as distant relatives and old friends from high school.  We can instantly share photos, personal accomplishments, and fun experiences with many people at once, which can also be great.  It’s just important to remember that these connections should not replace true connections and friendships.

It is time to work on myself and conquer my social media (and smartphone) addiction. Time is precious and I need to quit wasting it in this manner.  I want to write and spend time working on my craft, instead.  I need to work out, I want to read, spend time with my family, plant flowers, and be present. Does anyone else feel this way?  It’s honestly a little embarrassing to write about it but putting it out there helps me remain accountable to myself and to working on this.  I wonder how many others out there feel the same way. On the off chance that some of my blog readers feel the same, I thought I’d share this. I want to encourage you to do what you need to do to create a better life for yourself.  Even if that means going against the grain and doing things differently than everyone else.  I am taking a stand for real connectedness and less distractions from the true, good things in life, and I hope you do, too.  

Blue Zones

        I recently started watching a show on Netflix called “Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones,” which is a documentary series about longevity of life and the study of centenarians around the world.  It is fascinating to me that in the United States, on average, people do not live to be 100 years old. In fact, the average life span here is 77 years old; whereas, in other places around the world, there are concentrations of people that are living to the age of 100.  These areas are referred to as Blue Zones. The show focuses on these areas and discusses the factors involved in longevity.  Of course, diet and exercise come into play, but what I found interesting is that a major factor in living a long life is having community and close connection to others.  Okinawa, Japan is a place where they have a high concentration of centenarians.  The elderly there are greatly cared for and stay in community with the young people and with one another.  They regularly meet for meals and social gatherings and look out for each other.  In Hebrews chapter 10, the Bible says we should think about how we should encourage each other toward love and good deeds.  The author goes on to say we should not give up meeting together as a part of this encouragement. 

I am not trying to be Negative Nancy here, but doesn’t it seem like sometimes that we have given up on meeting together? I believe a huge reason for this is because social media causes us to believe we are connecting with others, so we tend to not spend much physical time together.  I am happy to know of several groups of people around my city that gather together regularly, such as the Fayetteville Running Club, for example.  Of course, we gather together as church attendees weekly, and some of us regularly meet in “small groups” where we connect on a deeper level with our church friends. 

It is too easy to be self-centered in this world and only focus on the life we are individually living.  It’s easy to neglect others outside of our own household and plan times to get together and connect with them.  Perhaps we are living shorter lives in the U.S. because of this lack of connection. The research is certainly pointing in this direction.  God wanted us to know this, as well, by having this letter to the Hebrew church included in the Bible. There are so many practical applications of the Bible that we should be paying attention to, and this is definitely one of them.  I am personally going to work on this because I want to live a long, happy life! One step that I am going to take today is to take a break from social media. I regularly take them, as I often feel the need to disconnect from Facebook and Instagram because of the fake social connection that it brings.  I want to actually connect with my friends and family.  If you are a close friend or family member reading this, let’s connect soon!

I love you all.

You are Qualified

Do you ever feel as if you are not good enough of a person or not qualified enough to talk about God to others?  Do you ever feel like you’re not “Christian enough,” especially when you compare yourself to others that seem to have the Bible memorized and seem to speak in super educated religious language all the time?  I have battled over my lifetime with these intrusive thoughts. I have felt like I am not as qualified to talk about Jesus as some other women that I know. I am an educated woman, but I speak simply, and not as eloquently as some people.  I have made huge mistakes in my life. I do not feel qualified to talk about Jesus sometimes because of these mistakes.  How can I make a difference in the world and share about God’s love when I know these things about myself?

Lies. All of it.  There are multiple examples in the Bible of “underqualified” people making a huge difference in the world. One famous story is the one about the Samaritan woman at the well, as told in John chapter 4.  This story shows us that all God needs is your faith and your testimony and he will do the rest.

Could you imagine, you’re just minding your own business, collecting some water in a jar for your family, then this man comes up to you to talk to you. He’s not supposed to be talking with you because he’s a Jew and you’re a Samaritan, and Jews and Samaritans do not associate with each other like that. You believe different things from each other and follow different rules and customs. This person is supposed to not care enough about you to strike up any sort of a conversation.  Not only does he start speaking to you, but he suddenly calls you out about your past- He knows that you’ve been married and remarried five times.  He knows that you’re currently shacking up with a man that you’re not married to.  There is no possible way this man could have known all of this! There must be something special about him.  Then, despite knowing this, even though you know you both believe different things religiously, he proceeds to explain to you a very important and intimate detail about God, which is what true worship looks like and the kind of worshipers God wants. He then tells you that he is the savior of the world.  Either this man is using magic, or he is who he says he is.

After this conversation with Jesus, the Samaritan woman went and told the people in town to come check Jesus out, shared what he said, and explained that he told her everything she ever did.  “He told me everything I ever did,” she exclaimed.  God knows everything you ever did. Everything from the little white lies you have told to your deepest, darkest secrets.  Despite knowing EVERYTHING, which isn’t pretty for some of us, he wants to use you.  All he needs is your faith and testimony. Despite the Samaritan’s woman past, she had faith.  She believed he was the savior of the world, and she testified (she told others about her experience with him). Her testimony brought many to Jesus to hear for themselves what he had to say, then “many more” became believers. It is believed that this woman’s testimony and witness to others is what catapulted the widespread news of Jesus having arrived on earth.  All she needed to do was believe, tell her story and God did all the rest. 

Harvard Business Review published an article in 2014, discussing the fact that women often do not apply for jobs unless they are 100 percent qualified; as opposed to men, who will often apply for a job when they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications (https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified).  This is astounding! We women tend to not put ourselves out there if we do not believe we are qualified. We won't even try.

The Samaritan woman didn’t have the perfect words. She wasn’t a renowned theologian. In fact, she was from an entirely different culture and didn’t even have the same exact fundamental beliefs as the Jewish people, as she was a Samaritan.  She simply listened, believed, and shared.  Any time you feel afraid to share about Jesus and start to feel unqualified or as if you don’t “know enough” or can’t say it “the right way,” remember the Samaritan woman that Jesus met at the well.  He knew all about her before he arrived. He knew she didn’t know everything about him and knew she wouldn’t be able to go out and preach about him in a profound way. However, he knew she had faith and hope in her heart.  She believed – or was curious enough- in that moment, that once she shared what had happened, others believed, others sought him to learn more, and more were saved.  I encourage you, women and men of God, to have faith, share what you know – your story, and our Savior will take care of the rest.

Loyalty

 "Where you go, I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."  Ruth 1:16

If you’re like me, you have seen the genealogy sections in the Bible throughout your life and mentally skipped over them. You see that “so and so” was the father of “so and so” and it goes on and on about the family genealogy and your brain just kind of shuts off.  It doesn’t feel relevant or important to you at the time.  I had an experience the other day where this all changed for me.  I decided to read through the New Testament again, from start to finish.  As I started with the first chapter in Matthew, and noticed it was a description of the genealogy of Jesus, I almost decided to skip through as I typically do.  However, this time was different for some reason.  I decided to read through it and see if I would notice certain people that were related to Jesus that I may not have known before.  This may be old news to some of you, but for anyone that has never realized this before, I thought I’d share what I found.

Verse 5 tells us that Boaz was related to Jesus.  The book of Ruth tells us about the story of Ruth and Naomi.  Long story short, for those that are unfamiliar, Ruth was the daughter-in-law of Naomi. Both of their husbands died, and Naomi decided to return to her homeland, Bethlehem.  Despite urging Ruth to return to her own family, Ruth sacrificially moved with Naomi to take care of her.  Once they were in Bethlehem, Ruth would work in the fields and would provide for them both, as Naomi was an older woman and could not do that for herself.  Ruth ultimately met the man in charge of the operation, Boaz. Boaz ended up liking Ruth, helping her by assigning her to easier/less physically demanding work than gleaning from the fields, and they ultimately fell in love and got married.  This was essentially a blessing from God because of Ruth’s faithfulness and loyalty to Naomi. 

Of course, the story of Ruth is a great one.  We read it and glean so much from it (no pun intended!), but, until we read Matthew chapter 1, we might not fully grasp the importance of Ruth to the overall history of Jesus and ultimately our salvation.  This story shows how important the characteristics of faithfulness and loyalty are to God.  If Ruth had not been obedient and taken care of Naomi, she would not have met Boaz, which would have altered the genealogy of Jesus!  Our decisions are important. Every decision we make has an impact.  How loyal are you to your friends? Are you truly there for them when they need you? Are your conversations all about yourself or do you ask them about their lives, too?  Would you drop everything to be by her side when she needs you? 

Let’s decide to be loyal and faithful to our friends, if we’re not that way already.  You may never know the power and impact this could have on your life and on theirs.

Finding God in the Caribbean Sea

“How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.  There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number- living things both large and small.”- Psalm 104:24-25

Finding God in the Caribbean Sea

As I was snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about God and his power.  I mean, how could you not think about the creator of the universe when you are under water, seeing hundreds of fish, rocks, and plants with the many vibrant colors throughout?  I just kept thinking about how creative and imaginative God is.  He pays attention to the details.  Not only did he think to create all the fish that can sustain us if we eat them, but he thought of all the fish and creatures that are just simply so beautiful and colorful.  Each fish is different from the rest.  The coral reef we swam over was covered in bright purple and green algae and seagrasses, as well as many other types of plants making up the ecosystem.   We always talk about God’s eye being on the sparrow, but his eyes are on the fish and sea creatures, too!  The smallest, most minuscule creatures of the sea were carefully designed with a purpose in mind.  If he thought of each of these, how much do you think he thinks of you?

The ocean is vast, immense, covering most of the earth.  We are beyond minute in comparison.  If the Lord cares to design creatures for the oceans of the world, how much do you think he cared about designing you?  The word says he designed you to have dominion over the creatures of the world, which includes those in the sea.  He carefully constructed it all and it all has a purpose.  Anytime you start to feel worthless, hopeless, like you don’t matter in this world, try to think about this fact.  Think about how God designed you to be a ruler over his vast creation.  Your importance should not be taken for granted.  However, in thinking of your importance, do not underestimate his importance in your life.  The creator loves you immensely and took the time to design you to be the unique individual that you are.  When you understand his importance, you will understand your own. You will then be able to share with others the hope that comes from believing in and trusting the creator of the land and sea and all the creatures that inhabit them. 

PR for the DR

 Although I am not a travel blogger, I am most definitely a traveler.  My husband and I strive to save up and take regular vacations each year.  We believe in the importance of seeing the world and enjoying our life, rather than working all the time and waiting until our later years to travel.  Life is short- enjoy it now.  This month, we went to the Dominican Republic and had a great time.  We stayed at the Secrets Royal Beach Resort in Punta Cana.  The trip was an adventure from the moment we woke up at 3 a.m. on our travel day to catch our flight.  We awoke to a text message from the airline stating the flight had been cancelled and that we were to fly out the next day, instead.  A great- and at times- annoying character trait of my husband’s is that he will not quickly accept changes, especially if he dislikes them or if they have caused problems for him.  He was unwilling to accept that we would fly out the next day, so his first thought was that we would do everything possible to try to get on a different flight that morning.  We ended up rushing to leave the house (within about 15 minutes!) and headed to Raleigh, where we noticed online that there was a flight heading to Punta Cana that would be leaving within the next few hours.  On our way to RDU, we called Delta and ended up booking the four of us on that flight, which was all finalized as we were walking into the airport. 

Upon arriving at Secrets, we were greeted with a warm welcome and long-stemmed glasses of champagne.  Our assigned butler for the week, Alfredo, helped us check in, then gave us a tour of the resort.  It was simply gorgeous, with a large variety of colorful tropical flowers and plants throughout, and tons of palm trees. After all, Punta Cana essentially means “tip of the palm tree.”  The resort has a main pool, a lazy river, and several other large pools to choose from, with several swim up bars, as well as a beautiful infinity pool overlooking the crystal clear Caribbean Ocean.  The guest rooms have a natural design esthetic, decorated with ivory, caramel and olive green tones. They were very clean and comfortable.  We chose a room that had a private soaking pool, which was directly off the back deck.  We experienced absolute luxury!

At the resort, we enjoyed trying out the variety of restaurants, all of which had incredible and tasty dining options, to include a Hibachi grill, gourmet buffet, American styled grill, Italian restaurant, Latin/Dominican, and French cuisine.  The food overall was amazing, as we did not have one meal that we disliked.  One of the restaurants even had a giant, 3-pound hamburger that was meant for 4 people to share. They sing a special song when a group of servers bring it out.  Our friend tried unsuccessfully to eat most of it on his own. 

This resort was so beautiful that, of course, people want to get married there.  We were excited to be able to see a wedding while we were there.  The bride’s gown was stunning- I will never forget the way it sparkled on the beach.  The bridal party came down the isle to an electric violin playing a variety of romantic hits.  There were 10 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, so each man had two ladies on either side of him as he walked down the aisle.  I wonder if that was a disagreement that they had that she won… How many people they each would have in their bridal party.  The first of many that the wife would win.  As she came down the aisle, my girlfriend and I stood up in reverence- in our bikinis- beside our resort beach chairs.  It was funny, beautiful, and amazing all at once.

During the trip, we took two excursions.  One of which was to the gorgeous Saona island.  We took two different buses to get to the dock where we boarded our first boat.  I would say there were about 50 of us on the trip.  They first took us out to a sandbar in the middle of the ocean where we could stand up in the translucent, turquoise water, that was about 3 feet high all around us.  A floating bar tender served us drinks and snacks right there in the middle of the ocean. About 6 boats were out there with us, so each group of people were standing in the water and partying. It was so much fun!  After spending about 30 minutes at the sandbar, we went back onboard the boat, and we headed to the island.  Once on the island, they gave us glasses of champagne and had a tasty buffet lunch comprised of fresh fish, rice, a variety of different types of salad, and fresh fruit waiting for us.  After we ate, we went swimming. The four of us in our group stayed in the water the entire rest of the time at the island, which was about two hours.  The Caribbean water felt and looked amazing.  We also enjoyed drinks served in pineapples while swimming. The whole day was heavenly.  After we boarded back on the boat, we took a catamaran party boat back to the original docking location. We danced, watched the beautiful ocean waves, and enjoyed the slow trip back.

We also took a dune buggy excursion, where we took a guided dune buggy tour through the city streets and countryside of Punta Cana.  It had rained that week, so we went through several mud puddles, which my husband gladly, purposefully did not avoid.  We were covered in mud from head to toe, and we loved every second of it.  For part of the trip, I could not really see because of the sunlight, and I was wearing goggles.  I thought I was taking photos and videos of the beautiful countryside but ended up taking about 20 selfies and a ten-minute-long video of my face. It was hilarious!

The tour took us to a local house in the country where they gave us fresh brewed Dominican coffee and some chocolate.  We then rode to a small grocery store, where the tour guide gave us snacks and we purchased a few small items.  For the final part of the buggy tour, we went to Macao beach.  After we parked our buggies, we walked down to the beach.  As I was covered in mud, I could not wait to rip off my muddy clothes and jump in the water (don’t worry, I was wearing a swimsuit).  It was exhilarating.  The tour guide unfortunately didn’t have us there very long, as we stayed there about 20 minutes or so.  We rode back to the shop where we started the tour and rode on the main highways to get there at full speed, which we were all a little surprised about.  The tour company we went with for this tour was Xtreme Buggy (Punta Cana).  The business is run by a quirky and completely loveable German man.  The tour guide was a woman from Switzerland that traveled to the DR so many times on vacation, that she ended up deciding to move there because she loved it so much.  She learned Spanish before she moved so that she could speak the language of the locals.  What a life! She really inspired me.

I must share this part of the trip because I think it may be helpful to some.  My husband and I do argue sometimes on our vacations and this one was no exception. I think it comes from anxiousness and wanting everything to be perfect because we spent all this time and money to get there.  However, we are human, so it can’t be perfect, and mistakes will be made.  For me, I get overly upset about arguments or disagreements on trips because it always reminds me of my childhood.  We would go on vacation every summer and my dad would get so angry with us kids every trip, and mentally abuse us, that it always stressed me out and made me feel terrible.  I could never fully enjoy our family trips for that reason.  I guess that should be another blog post, perhaps, but, whenever Mose and I argue on vacations, it immediately takes me back to that mental place and it feels terrible. 

The important thing to remember if you start to argue about something is that it’s from a place of anxiousness and wanting everything to be perfect. You need to come to terms with the fact that everything cannot go perfectly when you travel.  Whenever people are involved in anything in life, there will be imperfections. It’s important to go with the flow, easily forgive, and move on from whatever the other person – or yourself- is upset about while traveling.  It’s also important to work on yourself so that you are not easily getting upset about minor problems while traveling. Do not make the trip be just about you.  You both worked to get there, now, enjoy it and choose not to get upset by minor problems.

This blog entry has been a little long, so I will end it with this- MAKE THE TIME TO TRAVEL.  Do not wait until you have the time, as there will always be things that get added to your schedule that will fill up your time.  Quit spending money on frivolous things like makeup, expensive clothes, and jewelry and save that money for traveling and seeing the world, instead.  Of all the things you can do in your life, traveling is one of the most important.  While travel should not always be about vacationing- as we should also be going to help others around the world, I believe, it is immensely beneficial for your psychological well-being to get away from where you live and experience another culture.  Quit letting your fears get in the way of you living your life.  Go out and experience the world!