I've been thinking a lot lately about faith. Faith is such a powerful feeling and it's instilled in all of us, whether or not we believe in God. However, the fact that I have faith is what lets me know that there is a God. It is another beautiful aspect of humanity that proves we have a loving creator.
I have had to utilize my faith throughout my life on many occasions.
When I held my little one-week-old baby girl while she was crying and I was taking a final that my professor allowed me to take late because I was giving birth to her shortly before the day of the actual final; I had faith that if I continued to work hard, I would finish my degree someday and get to do what I really wanted to do in life. Even though I knew I would have to complete school as a single, working mother.
When I learned that my baby boy inherited the eye disease, Retinitis Pigmentosa, that runs in my family; I had faith (and continue to have faith) that he will still get to grow up and have as much of a fulfilling life as anyone else, regardless of whether he loses his vision completely.
When I knew that my husband could not work in his job any longer due to aspects out of our control, and when I realized our family needed a change, I had faith that if I made a sacrifice for him and our family, and moved our family across the U.S., that we could have a good life and God would still help me reach my goals.
The (true) story that really inspired me to write this post was reading about Noah this week. Did you know that it took him 120 years to build the ark?! 120 YEARS! Before he built it, there had been NO rain. EVER. Yet, God told him to do it, so he had faith that God would fulfill his promise, and he built a huge boat to prepare for flooding. If Noah can have such faith, I can too. Even if it takes a lifetime, I know that God will fulfill his promises to me.
I will continue to have faith.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
The Call: Part 3 (Africa)
So I've been putting off writing this post because I feel overwhelmed with emotion when I think about my trip to Africa. I was 17 at the time, and I had a head full of beliefs about life and my religion, and I thought I knew pretty much everything there was to know. This trip changed that mindset.
First, I must tell you that, since I was a young child, I had envisioned traveling to Africa. For some strange reason, I knew that I would be going there someday. I used to even draw pictures of what it might look like. I must have been reeled in by those Save the Children commercials at some point. I was definitely a sensitive kid.
The opportunity came about when I heard that an organization my parents were involved with called Good Samaritan Ministries (a world-wide non-profit counseling agency) was taking a trip to Uganda. The second I heard about it, I told my parents I was going on that trip. They initially smiled and said "ok honey" and kept it moving. After I said this repeatedly for about a month, my step-dad called the group and inquired for me. The crazy thing is that they were specifically looking for a teenager to take with them! When I heard that, I knew that God had specifically planned for me to go on that trip. Just like my other mission trips, the money was raised miraculously for me to be able to go.
I will never forget the moment I stepped onto the pavement at the airport in Uganda. It felt like a miracle occurred that I had waited my whole life for.
Throughout the trip, we traveled around Uganda and Kenya. We visited widows and orphans and brought them food and medical supplies. I played soccer (they call it football, which makes more sense) with lots of children, I sang songs and danced, and I helped teach social skill lessons, such as relationships/sex education.
I also washed my clothes in buckets, accidently ate one of my contacts, and I lost my luggage for two weeks, so I had to wear my friend's long dresses that didn't really fit me. I bought beautiful African art work that I still have. I picked coffee beans off trees and saw monkeys swinging from trees down a main highway. I went to the zoo and saw a huge hole in a lion's cage. I'm still not sure what was going on with that but it was crazy to see!
Adding to the plethora of experiences I had while there, I also got infected with malaria. Despite taking all of the precautionary measures, I still became infected. I think it was because I stayed the night with the little girls during the last night of camp and my mosquito netting was not properly placed. They had begged me to stay and every other night I had been going back to the apartment we were staying at for safety and so that I could have proper netting. Having malaria is like having the worst flu of your life. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I certainly felt like I was going to.
With all of the craziness, this trip was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. This is where I learned first hand that true religion is serving the widows and orphans.
It's about getting dirty by building a house made of red mud bricks for a woman who lost her husband to disease and who has to raise five children by herself. It's about playing a game of soccer with 20 kids that were all orphaned by AIDS.
It's also about lending some money to a friend during a hard time in her life. It's about driving a friend to work while her car is broken down. It's about spending real, quality time with your children that doesn't involve a screen of some sort. It's about spending time with someone else's child that doesn't have enough adults to look up to.
This is what Jesus is all about. I hope all of my family and friends get to meet the real Jesus someday and before that time comes, I want to show him to everybody. I'm going to fail at it sometimes, because I'm imperfect, but I'm going to try my very best. Not by what I say, but by what I do.
First, I must tell you that, since I was a young child, I had envisioned traveling to Africa. For some strange reason, I knew that I would be going there someday. I used to even draw pictures of what it might look like. I must have been reeled in by those Save the Children commercials at some point. I was definitely a sensitive kid.
The opportunity came about when I heard that an organization my parents were involved with called Good Samaritan Ministries (a world-wide non-profit counseling agency) was taking a trip to Uganda. The second I heard about it, I told my parents I was going on that trip. They initially smiled and said "ok honey" and kept it moving. After I said this repeatedly for about a month, my step-dad called the group and inquired for me. The crazy thing is that they were specifically looking for a teenager to take with them! When I heard that, I knew that God had specifically planned for me to go on that trip. Just like my other mission trips, the money was raised miraculously for me to be able to go.
I will never forget the moment I stepped onto the pavement at the airport in Uganda. It felt like a miracle occurred that I had waited my whole life for.
Throughout the trip, we traveled around Uganda and Kenya. We visited widows and orphans and brought them food and medical supplies. I played soccer (they call it football, which makes more sense) with lots of children, I sang songs and danced, and I helped teach social skill lessons, such as relationships/sex education.
I also washed my clothes in buckets, accidently ate one of my contacts, and I lost my luggage for two weeks, so I had to wear my friend's long dresses that didn't really fit me. I bought beautiful African art work that I still have. I picked coffee beans off trees and saw monkeys swinging from trees down a main highway. I went to the zoo and saw a huge hole in a lion's cage. I'm still not sure what was going on with that but it was crazy to see!
Adding to the plethora of experiences I had while there, I also got infected with malaria. Despite taking all of the precautionary measures, I still became infected. I think it was because I stayed the night with the little girls during the last night of camp and my mosquito netting was not properly placed. They had begged me to stay and every other night I had been going back to the apartment we were staying at for safety and so that I could have proper netting. Having malaria is like having the worst flu of your life. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I certainly felt like I was going to.
With all of the craziness, this trip was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. This is where I learned first hand that true religion is serving the widows and orphans.
Although it feels good to do, Christianity is not dressing up in your Sunday best and heading to a brick building every week.
It's about getting dirty by building a house made of red mud bricks for a woman who lost her husband to disease and who has to raise five children by herself. It's about playing a game of soccer with 20 kids that were all orphaned by AIDS.
It's also about lending some money to a friend during a hard time in her life. It's about driving a friend to work while her car is broken down. It's about spending real, quality time with your children that doesn't involve a screen of some sort. It's about spending time with someone else's child that doesn't have enough adults to look up to.
This is what Jesus is all about. I hope all of my family and friends get to meet the real Jesus someday and before that time comes, I want to show him to everybody. I'm going to fail at it sometimes, because I'm imperfect, but I'm going to try my very best. Not by what I say, but by what I do.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The Call: Part 2
As stated in my last entry, I had the amazing opportunity to go on mission trips as a child. When I was 12, I traveled with a group called King's Kids, which was a dance/worship team through a wonderful organization called Youth With A Mission.
Now that I am an adult with children and have regular expenses, I can really see what a miracle it was that my mom made it possible for me to go on that trip. We were 'American poor' at that time; meaning, we were not third world country poor, but we were still broke. It seems that we didn't even have a regular pay check to live month to month by. My mom was dating a man (who is now my step-dad), but she had spent the last two years prior to that financially struggling through single motherhood.
When I heard about the trip, I knew it would take a miracle to be able to go, but I knew that God would provide. After a car wash (or two), a soda can drive, and some donations from family and friends, the money was raised!
On this trip, my team traveled to Spain, Latvia, and Denmark. Here are some memories from this trip in no particular numerical significance or order (now, remember, I was 12 at the time, so these are the things that were important in my 12 year-old brain):
1. Some women in foreign countries do not shave their armpits.
2. It's impossible for many people to drive slowly overseas. If you want to cross the street as a pedestrian, you better run.
3. A Happy Meal in Denmark is outrageously priced, and chewing tobacco and ice cream made that country significantly wealthy.
4. Eel is tasty (a meal we had in Latvia).
5. The Baltic ocean coastline is beautiful!! It looks very much like the Oregon coast.
6. Cobblestone streets are amazing but your feet will be severely sore after walking on them for a day.
7. Toilet paper can be blue and it is the consistency of sandpaper everywhere else but America. God bless the U.S.A.
8. Some people still do not have bathrooms with running water that are attached to their houses (i.e. many people still use outhouses).
Of course, these are observations that are not necessarily the gospel truth for everyone, but for some reason, my brain held onto these memories that were true for me at the time.
All jokes aside, the experience that really touched my life on that trip was visiting an orphanage. I will never forget seeing the rooms full of babies and toddlers that were lying in cribs and waiting for someone to pick them up. Many of them had decided to give up on crying, because that form of communication was of no use. There were too many babies for the workers to care for, so it was impossible to hold each baby when he cried.
This was the first time in my life that I really focused on someone other than myself. It was the first time that I took on a world view. I knew that I had been through my own abuse as a young child, but in comparison, this seemed much worse.
At 12 years old, I knew I had to grow up to make a big impact, but I also knew that someday I would. I couldn't let those babies down.
Now that I am an adult with children and have regular expenses, I can really see what a miracle it was that my mom made it possible for me to go on that trip. We were 'American poor' at that time; meaning, we were not third world country poor, but we were still broke. It seems that we didn't even have a regular pay check to live month to month by. My mom was dating a man (who is now my step-dad), but she had spent the last two years prior to that financially struggling through single motherhood.
When I heard about the trip, I knew it would take a miracle to be able to go, but I knew that God would provide. After a car wash (or two), a soda can drive, and some donations from family and friends, the money was raised!
On this trip, my team traveled to Spain, Latvia, and Denmark. Here are some memories from this trip in no particular numerical significance or order (now, remember, I was 12 at the time, so these are the things that were important in my 12 year-old brain):
1. Some women in foreign countries do not shave their armpits.
2. It's impossible for many people to drive slowly overseas. If you want to cross the street as a pedestrian, you better run.
3. A Happy Meal in Denmark is outrageously priced, and chewing tobacco and ice cream made that country significantly wealthy.
4. Eel is tasty (a meal we had in Latvia).
5. The Baltic ocean coastline is beautiful!! It looks very much like the Oregon coast.
6. Cobblestone streets are amazing but your feet will be severely sore after walking on them for a day.
7. Toilet paper can be blue and it is the consistency of sandpaper everywhere else but America. God bless the U.S.A.
8. Some people still do not have bathrooms with running water that are attached to their houses (i.e. many people still use outhouses).
Of course, these are observations that are not necessarily the gospel truth for everyone, but for some reason, my brain held onto these memories that were true for me at the time.
All jokes aside, the experience that really touched my life on that trip was visiting an orphanage. I will never forget seeing the rooms full of babies and toddlers that were lying in cribs and waiting for someone to pick them up. Many of them had decided to give up on crying, because that form of communication was of no use. There were too many babies for the workers to care for, so it was impossible to hold each baby when he cried.
This was the first time in my life that I really focused on someone other than myself. It was the first time that I took on a world view. I knew that I had been through my own abuse as a young child, but in comparison, this seemed much worse.
At 12 years old, I knew I had to grow up to make a big impact, but I also knew that someday I would. I couldn't let those babies down.
Monday, September 2, 2013
The Call
I have been inundated recently with the concept of 'destiny'. For the last year (or so) I have been questioning the reason for my existence in terms of wondering what exactly am I supposed to be doing with my time here in this world. First and foremost, I was meant to be Mose's wife. Secondly, I was meant to be a mother to Harmony and Mose V. Aside from that, I often wonder if I am truly doing what I have been called to do with my life.
One thing I do know is that we are ALL called and pre-destined according to the purpose of his will (Eph. 1:11). In addition, we were all created in order to do good works, which God outlined for us before we were even born (Eph. 2:10).
However, with the free will that we have been given, we have been given the choice to decide to walk in that purpose.
Part of my purpose was shown to me when I was a child. I had the privilege of going on missions trips when I was 12 and 17. Both trips were funded by donations by family members and friends, by soda can drives and carwashes, and the trip when I was a teenager was even made possible by extra tips given to me when I was working as a server at the Golden Corral. It was a miracle on each occasion that I was even able to go on the trip, since my family certainly did not have the money for me to go. Both trips opened my eyes to the world in a huge way and they both changed my life forever.
My next two posts will be about these trips, since they each deserve a post (or more) of their own.
Stay tuned!
One thing I do know is that we are ALL called and pre-destined according to the purpose of his will (Eph. 1:11). In addition, we were all created in order to do good works, which God outlined for us before we were even born (Eph. 2:10).
However, with the free will that we have been given, we have been given the choice to decide to walk in that purpose.
Part of my purpose was shown to me when I was a child. I had the privilege of going on missions trips when I was 12 and 17. Both trips were funded by donations by family members and friends, by soda can drives and carwashes, and the trip when I was a teenager was even made possible by extra tips given to me when I was working as a server at the Golden Corral. It was a miracle on each occasion that I was even able to go on the trip, since my family certainly did not have the money for me to go. Both trips opened my eyes to the world in a huge way and they both changed my life forever.
My next two posts will be about these trips, since they each deserve a post (or more) of their own.
Stay tuned!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Til Death Do Us Part
I read a story this morning about an elderly couple that had been married for 66 years and that had died on the same day. They both waited for each other to die and then they essentially died together. The wife had been ill, and one day, the husband heard his wife was about to die, so he became very ill on that same day. He died, then she died within hours.
I am amazed and encouraged by this story. Is love really that strong that when one finds out his mate is going to die, that he too can physically become so ill that he also dies?!
This story reminds me of my grandparents. They were so much in love until their deaths, that they did not live too long without each other. After my grandma passed, my grandfather did not live for long much after. They had such a precious love.
Some of us try to not fall in love because we are so afraid of what may happen if the love is not reciprocated. It does take faith in another person to love them. We let that fear take control and then we never get the chance to feel the kind of love described above because we have been shut down by that fear. You just have to take that risk!!
After my husband and I had just been married (and during our dating), I gave him hell ('scuse my French). I gave him hell because I had been hurt so badly by most of the other men in my life, starting with my father. I was afraid to love him because of that hurt.
One day, I felt God ask me a question. He asked, do you want my blessing, or do you want to continue to live a painful life? Of course, this is a rhetorical question, because, who wants to continue to live in pain?
Mose and I have had rough moments, of course, during our married life, and we will continue to. However, when I answered that question from God with an outstanding YES, I WANT THE BLESSING!, I made a decision to stop the pain I was giving Mose just because another man had created that pain. Our relationship has strengthened tenfold because of this, and I know, through God's grace, it will continue to grow.
I'm writing all of this to try to help you to understand that pain causes fear, but you can pray against that fear and ask God to open your heart to love.
When you find that love, I hope that you will fight for it, because it is more precious than anything else life can give you.
I am amazed and encouraged by this story. Is love really that strong that when one finds out his mate is going to die, that he too can physically become so ill that he also dies?!
This story reminds me of my grandparents. They were so much in love until their deaths, that they did not live too long without each other. After my grandma passed, my grandfather did not live for long much after. They had such a precious love.
Love is so powerful, yet we tend to fight it.
Some of us try to not fall in love because we are so afraid of what may happen if the love is not reciprocated. It does take faith in another person to love them. We let that fear take control and then we never get the chance to feel the kind of love described above because we have been shut down by that fear. You just have to take that risk!!
After my husband and I had just been married (and during our dating), I gave him hell ('scuse my French). I gave him hell because I had been hurt so badly by most of the other men in my life, starting with my father. I was afraid to love him because of that hurt.
One day, I felt God ask me a question. He asked, do you want my blessing, or do you want to continue to live a painful life? Of course, this is a rhetorical question, because, who wants to continue to live in pain?
Mose and I have had rough moments, of course, during our married life, and we will continue to. However, when I answered that question from God with an outstanding YES, I WANT THE BLESSING!, I made a decision to stop the pain I was giving Mose just because another man had created that pain. Our relationship has strengthened tenfold because of this, and I know, through God's grace, it will continue to grow.
I'm writing all of this to try to help you to understand that pain causes fear, but you can pray against that fear and ask God to open your heart to love.
When you find that love, I hope that you will fight for it, because it is more precious than anything else life can give you.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Addiction
The truth is... I actually do not like running. In fact, most days I wake up dreading the run I'm about to do and once I get started, most of the time, I simply cannot wait for it to be over with. I hear a lot of my runner friends talking about running as if they truly love it. It's hard for me, and I'm slow, and my body often hurts while I'm running.
So why do I do it? I guess it's because I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to the feeling that I have after I'm done running. I'm addicted to the endorphins.
I don't know if it's in my genetic makeup, but I do know that I have a tendency to become addicted very quickly to things. I've just been fortunate enough to pick up mostly healthy addictive behaviors.
An unhealthy addiction that I have, however, is with checking my phone. I swear, my phone is like a crack rock some days. I feel so compelled some days to check my phone, that I often have to make a real effort to leave it alone. It takes more than my own power to not look at it, though. I have to pray OUT LOUD to God that I don't overuse my phone sometimes.
I can't be the only one out there that feels or thinks this way...
The reason why this is an issue for me is because I would hate for my children to have fond memories of their childhood, but most of their memories involve me being on my phone while we're doing an activity. It's a very unpleasant feeling I experience when I think about that possibility.
The reason why addiction exists is because it is a great tool used by our enemy to keep us away from God and all that is good in life.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not taking other kinds of addiction (i.e. drugs, porn, alcohol) lightly in this post, as I know those addictions are very serious.
I've just had it on my heart lately to discuss this topic, as I think many of us struggle with our own addictions, whether they are dangerous or not. Your addiction might be to a certain person who is not good for your life. It might be to a particular way of thinking that you're used to. Some addictions can be healthy and lead us to a prosperous life, but so many of our addictions will lead us to sickness and possibly to death, which is the enemy's ultimate goal.
So why do I do it? I guess it's because I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to the feeling that I have after I'm done running. I'm addicted to the endorphins.
I don't know if it's in my genetic makeup, but I do know that I have a tendency to become addicted very quickly to things. I've just been fortunate enough to pick up mostly healthy addictive behaviors.
An unhealthy addiction that I have, however, is with checking my phone. I swear, my phone is like a crack rock some days. I feel so compelled some days to check my phone, that I often have to make a real effort to leave it alone. It takes more than my own power to not look at it, though. I have to pray OUT LOUD to God that I don't overuse my phone sometimes.
I can't be the only one out there that feels or thinks this way...
The reason why this is an issue for me is because I would hate for my children to have fond memories of their childhood, but most of their memories involve me being on my phone while we're doing an activity. It's a very unpleasant feeling I experience when I think about that possibility.
The reason why addiction exists is because it is a great tool used by our enemy to keep us away from God and all that is good in life.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not taking other kinds of addiction (i.e. drugs, porn, alcohol) lightly in this post, as I know those addictions are very serious.
I've just had it on my heart lately to discuss this topic, as I think many of us struggle with our own addictions, whether they are dangerous or not. Your addiction might be to a certain person who is not good for your life. It might be to a particular way of thinking that you're used to. Some addictions can be healthy and lead us to a prosperous life, but so many of our addictions will lead us to sickness and possibly to death, which is the enemy's ultimate goal.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Granola Kids
Being named Lyrica isn't something that happens when you have average parents.
First, my biological father is a very talented musician. He can play guitar and make it sound like several other instruments are playing with him when it's just his guitar.
Now let me tell you about my momma. First of all, she is beautiful. When someone says I look like her, I could just kiss them because this is truly the ultimate compliment.
Since she was a teenager in the 70's and since she had very frugal parents, she made a lot of her own clothes. She also was an artist, which is a trait she inherited from several family members. Yes, she was a hippie.
My mom continued her hippie "ways" into her adulthood, as she gave birth to all five of us kids at home. She don't need no stinkin doctors!! Yep, she is pretty much a super woman.
Since we were on a tight budget with five kids and since she had hippie roots, my mom also sewed a lot of our clothes too. I will never forget how much in love I was with the Little House on the Prairie dress that she made for me. She even made the bonnet. Oh yes, I was Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Not only did my mom sew our clothes, but she made much of the food that we ate from scratch. She cooked and baked from scratch for health reasons, because she wanted us to eat as healthy as possible. She grew a garden in the back yard, and we even raised a couple of chickens for eggs. Mind you, we lived in a regular residential neighborhood. If there was a Home Owner's Association, we were certainly breaking some rules.
I will share some chicken stories later...
I also remember even having to eat cod liver oil as a child for some reason... I think to get over a cold...but my memory is kind of fuzzy on that one... However, it could have just been just to be healthy! Regardless, it felt more like punishment than anything else. Please do not give this stuff to your children! I don't care how healthy it is. Don't do it.
My mom is one healthy, cool chick. I will also never forget the fact that after she had her last baby, my youngest sister, she went on a jog around the neighborhood not too long after she gave birth. In fact, I believe that much of my drive to be active and healthy comes from values she instilled in me from a young age.
In her "older" age, she rides horses and motorcycles and she continues to be the fun, creative, lovely woman she has always been. I just love her.
First, my biological father is a very talented musician. He can play guitar and make it sound like several other instruments are playing with him when it's just his guitar.
Now let me tell you about my momma. First of all, she is beautiful. When someone says I look like her, I could just kiss them because this is truly the ultimate compliment.
Since she was a teenager in the 70's and since she had very frugal parents, she made a lot of her own clothes. She also was an artist, which is a trait she inherited from several family members. Yes, she was a hippie.
My mom continued her hippie "ways" into her adulthood, as she gave birth to all five of us kids at home. She don't need no stinkin doctors!! Yep, she is pretty much a super woman.
Since we were on a tight budget with five kids and since she had hippie roots, my mom also sewed a lot of our clothes too. I will never forget how much in love I was with the Little House on the Prairie dress that she made for me. She even made the bonnet. Oh yes, I was Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Not only did my mom sew our clothes, but she made much of the food that we ate from scratch. She cooked and baked from scratch for health reasons, because she wanted us to eat as healthy as possible. She grew a garden in the back yard, and we even raised a couple of chickens for eggs. Mind you, we lived in a regular residential neighborhood. If there was a Home Owner's Association, we were certainly breaking some rules.
I will share some chicken stories later...
I also remember even having to eat cod liver oil as a child for some reason... I think to get over a cold...but my memory is kind of fuzzy on that one... However, it could have just been just to be healthy! Regardless, it felt more like punishment than anything else. Please do not give this stuff to your children! I don't care how healthy it is. Don't do it.
My mom is one healthy, cool chick. I will also never forget the fact that after she had her last baby, my youngest sister, she went on a jog around the neighborhood not too long after she gave birth. In fact, I believe that much of my drive to be active and healthy comes from values she instilled in me from a young age.
In her "older" age, she rides horses and motorcycles and she continues to be the fun, creative, lovely woman she has always been. I just love her.
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