You are Qualified

Do you ever feel as if you are not good enough of a person or not qualified enough to talk about God to others?  Do you ever feel like you’re not “Christian enough,” especially when you compare yourself to others that seem to have the Bible memorized and seem to speak in super educated religious language all the time?  I have battled over my lifetime with these intrusive thoughts. I have felt like I am not as qualified to talk about Jesus as some other women that I know. I am an educated woman, but I speak simply, and not as eloquently as some people.  I have made huge mistakes in my life. I do not feel qualified to talk about Jesus sometimes because of these mistakes.  How can I make a difference in the world and share about God’s love when I know these things about myself?

Lies. All of it.  There are multiple examples in the Bible of “underqualified” people making a huge difference in the world. One famous story is the one about the Samaritan woman at the well, as told in John chapter 4.  This story shows us that all God needs is your faith and your testimony and he will do the rest.

Could you imagine, you’re just minding your own business, collecting some water in a jar for your family, then this man comes up to you to talk to you. He’s not supposed to be talking with you because he’s a Jew and you’re a Samaritan, and Jews and Samaritans do not associate with each other like that. You believe different things from each other and follow different rules and customs. This person is supposed to not care enough about you to strike up any sort of a conversation.  Not only does he start speaking to you, but he suddenly calls you out about your past- He knows that you’ve been married and remarried five times.  He knows that you’re currently shacking up with a man that you’re not married to.  There is no possible way this man could have known all of this! There must be something special about him.  Then, despite knowing this, even though you know you both believe different things religiously, he proceeds to explain to you a very important and intimate detail about God, which is what true worship looks like and the kind of worshipers God wants. He then tells you that he is the savior of the world.  Either this man is using magic, or he is who he says he is.

After this conversation with Jesus, the Samaritan woman went and told the people in town to come check Jesus out, shared what he said, and explained that he told her everything she ever did.  “He told me everything I ever did,” she exclaimed.  God knows everything you ever did. Everything from the little white lies you have told to your deepest, darkest secrets.  Despite knowing EVERYTHING, which isn’t pretty for some of us, he wants to use you.  All he needs is your faith and testimony. Despite the Samaritan’s woman past, she had faith.  She believed he was the savior of the world, and she testified (she told others about her experience with him). Her testimony brought many to Jesus to hear for themselves what he had to say, then “many more” became believers. It is believed that this woman’s testimony and witness to others is what catapulted the widespread news of Jesus having arrived on earth.  All she needed to do was believe, tell her story and God did all the rest. 

Harvard Business Review published an article in 2014, discussing the fact that women often do not apply for jobs unless they are 100 percent qualified; as opposed to men, who will often apply for a job when they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications (https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified).  This is astounding! We women tend to not put ourselves out there if we do not believe we are qualified. We won't even try.

The Samaritan woman didn’t have the perfect words. She wasn’t a renowned theologian. In fact, she was from an entirely different culture and didn’t even have the same exact fundamental beliefs as the Jewish people, as she was a Samaritan.  She simply listened, believed, and shared.  Any time you feel afraid to share about Jesus and start to feel unqualified or as if you don’t “know enough” or can’t say it “the right way,” remember the Samaritan woman that Jesus met at the well.  He knew all about her before he arrived. He knew she didn’t know everything about him and knew she wouldn’t be able to go out and preach about him in a profound way. However, he knew she had faith and hope in her heart.  She believed – or was curious enough- in that moment, that once she shared what had happened, others believed, others sought him to learn more, and more were saved.  I encourage you, women and men of God, to have faith, share what you know – your story, and our Savior will take care of the rest.

Loyalty

 "Where you go, I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."  Ruth 1:16

If you’re like me, you have seen the genealogy sections in the Bible throughout your life and mentally skipped over them. You see that “so and so” was the father of “so and so” and it goes on and on about the family genealogy and your brain just kind of shuts off.  It doesn’t feel relevant or important to you at the time.  I had an experience the other day where this all changed for me.  I decided to read through the New Testament again, from start to finish.  As I started with the first chapter in Matthew, and noticed it was a description of the genealogy of Jesus, I almost decided to skip through as I typically do.  However, this time was different for some reason.  I decided to read through it and see if I would notice certain people that were related to Jesus that I may not have known before.  This may be old news to some of you, but for anyone that has never realized this before, I thought I’d share what I found.

Verse 5 tells us that Boaz was related to Jesus.  The book of Ruth tells us about the story of Ruth and Naomi.  Long story short, for those that are unfamiliar, Ruth was the daughter-in-law of Naomi. Both of their husbands died, and Naomi decided to return to her homeland, Bethlehem.  Despite urging Ruth to return to her own family, Ruth sacrificially moved with Naomi to take care of her.  Once they were in Bethlehem, Ruth would work in the fields and would provide for them both, as Naomi was an older woman and could not do that for herself.  Ruth ultimately met the man in charge of the operation, Boaz. Boaz ended up liking Ruth, helping her by assigning her to easier/less physically demanding work than gleaning from the fields, and they ultimately fell in love and got married.  This was essentially a blessing from God because of Ruth’s faithfulness and loyalty to Naomi. 

Of course, the story of Ruth is a great one.  We read it and glean so much from it (no pun intended!), but, until we read Matthew chapter 1, we might not fully grasp the importance of Ruth to the overall history of Jesus and ultimately our salvation.  This story shows how important the characteristics of faithfulness and loyalty are to God.  If Ruth had not been obedient and taken care of Naomi, she would not have met Boaz, which would have altered the genealogy of Jesus!  Our decisions are important. Every decision we make has an impact.  How loyal are you to your friends? Are you truly there for them when they need you? Are your conversations all about yourself or do you ask them about their lives, too?  Would you drop everything to be by her side when she needs you? 

Let’s decide to be loyal and faithful to our friends, if we’re not that way already.  You may never know the power and impact this could have on your life and on theirs.

Finding God in the Caribbean Sea

“How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.  There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number- living things both large and small.”- Psalm 104:24-25

Finding God in the Caribbean Sea

As I was snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about God and his power.  I mean, how could you not think about the creator of the universe when you are under water, seeing hundreds of fish, rocks, and plants with the many vibrant colors throughout?  I just kept thinking about how creative and imaginative God is.  He pays attention to the details.  Not only did he think to create all the fish that can sustain us if we eat them, but he thought of all the fish and creatures that are just simply so beautiful and colorful.  Each fish is different from the rest.  The coral reef we swam over was covered in bright purple and green algae and seagrasses, as well as many other types of plants making up the ecosystem.   We always talk about God’s eye being on the sparrow, but his eyes are on the fish and sea creatures, too!  The smallest, most minuscule creatures of the sea were carefully designed with a purpose in mind.  If he thought of each of these, how much do you think he thinks of you?

The ocean is vast, immense, covering most of the earth.  We are beyond minute in comparison.  If the Lord cares to design creatures for the oceans of the world, how much do you think he cared about designing you?  The word says he designed you to have dominion over the creatures of the world, which includes those in the sea.  He carefully constructed it all and it all has a purpose.  Anytime you start to feel worthless, hopeless, like you don’t matter in this world, try to think about this fact.  Think about how God designed you to be a ruler over his vast creation.  Your importance should not be taken for granted.  However, in thinking of your importance, do not underestimate his importance in your life.  The creator loves you immensely and took the time to design you to be the unique individual that you are.  When you understand his importance, you will understand your own. You will then be able to share with others the hope that comes from believing in and trusting the creator of the land and sea and all the creatures that inhabit them. 

PR for the DR

 Although I am not a travel blogger, I am most definitely a traveler.  My husband and I strive to save up and take regular vacations each year.  We believe in the importance of seeing the world and enjoying our life, rather than working all the time and waiting until our later years to travel.  Life is short- enjoy it now.  This month, we went to the Dominican Republic and had a great time.  We stayed at the Secrets Royal Beach Resort in Punta Cana.  The trip was an adventure from the moment we woke up at 3 a.m. on our travel day to catch our flight.  We awoke to a text message from the airline stating the flight had been cancelled and that we were to fly out the next day, instead.  A great- and at times- annoying character trait of my husband’s is that he will not quickly accept changes, especially if he dislikes them or if they have caused problems for him.  He was unwilling to accept that we would fly out the next day, so his first thought was that we would do everything possible to try to get on a different flight that morning.  We ended up rushing to leave the house (within about 15 minutes!) and headed to Raleigh, where we noticed online that there was a flight heading to Punta Cana that would be leaving within the next few hours.  On our way to RDU, we called Delta and ended up booking the four of us on that flight, which was all finalized as we were walking into the airport. 

Upon arriving at Secrets, we were greeted with a warm welcome and long-stemmed glasses of champagne.  Our assigned butler for the week, Alfredo, helped us check in, then gave us a tour of the resort.  It was simply gorgeous, with a large variety of colorful tropical flowers and plants throughout, and tons of palm trees. After all, Punta Cana essentially means “tip of the palm tree.”  The resort has a main pool, a lazy river, and several other large pools to choose from, with several swim up bars, as well as a beautiful infinity pool overlooking the crystal clear Caribbean Ocean.  The guest rooms have a natural design esthetic, decorated with ivory, caramel and olive green tones. They were very clean and comfortable.  We chose a room that had a private soaking pool, which was directly off the back deck.  We experienced absolute luxury!

At the resort, we enjoyed trying out the variety of restaurants, all of which had incredible and tasty dining options, to include a Hibachi grill, gourmet buffet, American styled grill, Italian restaurant, Latin/Dominican, and French cuisine.  The food overall was amazing, as we did not have one meal that we disliked.  One of the restaurants even had a giant, 3-pound hamburger that was meant for 4 people to share. They sing a special song when a group of servers bring it out.  Our friend tried unsuccessfully to eat most of it on his own. 

This resort was so beautiful that, of course, people want to get married there.  We were excited to be able to see a wedding while we were there.  The bride’s gown was stunning- I will never forget the way it sparkled on the beach.  The bridal party came down the isle to an electric violin playing a variety of romantic hits.  There were 10 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, so each man had two ladies on either side of him as he walked down the aisle.  I wonder if that was a disagreement that they had that she won… How many people they each would have in their bridal party.  The first of many that the wife would win.  As she came down the aisle, my girlfriend and I stood up in reverence- in our bikinis- beside our resort beach chairs.  It was funny, beautiful, and amazing all at once.

During the trip, we took two excursions.  One of which was to the gorgeous Saona island.  We took two different buses to get to the dock where we boarded our first boat.  I would say there were about 50 of us on the trip.  They first took us out to a sandbar in the middle of the ocean where we could stand up in the translucent, turquoise water, that was about 3 feet high all around us.  A floating bar tender served us drinks and snacks right there in the middle of the ocean. About 6 boats were out there with us, so each group of people were standing in the water and partying. It was so much fun!  After spending about 30 minutes at the sandbar, we went back onboard the boat, and we headed to the island.  Once on the island, they gave us glasses of champagne and had a tasty buffet lunch comprised of fresh fish, rice, a variety of different types of salad, and fresh fruit waiting for us.  After we ate, we went swimming. The four of us in our group stayed in the water the entire rest of the time at the island, which was about two hours.  The Caribbean water felt and looked amazing.  We also enjoyed drinks served in pineapples while swimming. The whole day was heavenly.  After we boarded back on the boat, we took a catamaran party boat back to the original docking location. We danced, watched the beautiful ocean waves, and enjoyed the slow trip back.

We also took a dune buggy excursion, where we took a guided dune buggy tour through the city streets and countryside of Punta Cana.  It had rained that week, so we went through several mud puddles, which my husband gladly, purposefully did not avoid.  We were covered in mud from head to toe, and we loved every second of it.  For part of the trip, I could not really see because of the sunlight, and I was wearing goggles.  I thought I was taking photos and videos of the beautiful countryside but ended up taking about 20 selfies and a ten-minute-long video of my face. It was hilarious!

The tour took us to a local house in the country where they gave us fresh brewed Dominican coffee and some chocolate.  We then rode to a small grocery store, where the tour guide gave us snacks and we purchased a few small items.  For the final part of the buggy tour, we went to Macao beach.  After we parked our buggies, we walked down to the beach.  As I was covered in mud, I could not wait to rip off my muddy clothes and jump in the water (don’t worry, I was wearing a swimsuit).  It was exhilarating.  The tour guide unfortunately didn’t have us there very long, as we stayed there about 20 minutes or so.  We rode back to the shop where we started the tour and rode on the main highways to get there at full speed, which we were all a little surprised about.  The tour company we went with for this tour was Xtreme Buggy (Punta Cana).  The business is run by a quirky and completely loveable German man.  The tour guide was a woman from Switzerland that traveled to the DR so many times on vacation, that she ended up deciding to move there because she loved it so much.  She learned Spanish before she moved so that she could speak the language of the locals.  What a life! She really inspired me.

I must share this part of the trip because I think it may be helpful to some.  My husband and I do argue sometimes on our vacations and this one was no exception. I think it comes from anxiousness and wanting everything to be perfect because we spent all this time and money to get there.  However, we are human, so it can’t be perfect, and mistakes will be made.  For me, I get overly upset about arguments or disagreements on trips because it always reminds me of my childhood.  We would go on vacation every summer and my dad would get so angry with us kids every trip, and mentally abuse us, that it always stressed me out and made me feel terrible.  I could never fully enjoy our family trips for that reason.  I guess that should be another blog post, perhaps, but, whenever Mose and I argue on vacations, it immediately takes me back to that mental place and it feels terrible. 

The important thing to remember if you start to argue about something is that it’s from a place of anxiousness and wanting everything to be perfect. You need to come to terms with the fact that everything cannot go perfectly when you travel.  Whenever people are involved in anything in life, there will be imperfections. It’s important to go with the flow, easily forgive, and move on from whatever the other person – or yourself- is upset about while traveling.  It’s also important to work on yourself so that you are not easily getting upset about minor problems while traveling. Do not make the trip be just about you.  You both worked to get there, now, enjoy it and choose not to get upset by minor problems.

This blog entry has been a little long, so I will end it with this- MAKE THE TIME TO TRAVEL.  Do not wait until you have the time, as there will always be things that get added to your schedule that will fill up your time.  Quit spending money on frivolous things like makeup, expensive clothes, and jewelry and save that money for traveling and seeing the world, instead.  Of all the things you can do in your life, traveling is one of the most important.  While travel should not always be about vacationing- as we should also be going to help others around the world, I believe, it is immensely beneficial for your psychological well-being to get away from where you live and experience another culture.  Quit letting your fears get in the way of you living your life.  Go out and experience the world!

Ode to the MIL

It has been 19 years since we’ve known each other.  I will never forget the first time I met her. Mose invited me home to meet his family when we were dating.  She was welcoming but guarded- understandably. I was nervous and excited.  I knew that Mose and I really cared about each other on a deep level and that we were serious about our relationship by that point, even though we had only been together a few months.  As we were all relaxing on the sofa one evening, just the three of us, we started talking about the future. I mentioned that he and I would still be together (I can’t recall exactly what we were talking about). I was insinuating how serious we felt about each other at that point.  She quickly- and I mean quickly- told me that he and I were friends and still getting to know each other.  In so many words, she was telling me to calm down and not rush anything.  I was slightly offended in that moment, but I also understood where she was coming from.  She didn’t know me at all.  She was also not ready to let go of her baby.  I am also the only white woman my husband has been with, so there was that, as well.

You may be wondering why I would mention such a thing.  There are a lot of white people, I believe, that choose to ignore people’s skin color, acting like that is the best way to not be “racist.” Remember the whole “love sees no color” movement in the 90s? The movement stemmed from that idea- that if we really loved each other, we would not see skin color.  I am here to tell you that is not love.  If we choose to ignore that aspect of people, we are choosing to not see ALL of who they are- all of whom God created them to be.  For non-white people, their skin color has helped shaped their entire existence and effects their daily lives, so in what way does this show love to ignore that aspect of them? We should love others for their entire, whole selves, which is exactly how my in-laws have loved me from the start.

My MIL has taken time over to years to learn to trust me as a person- most importantly to trust me to take care of her son.  I had to prove that over time with my actions. She and I have both understood this, but she has never demanded this from me in a forceful way or shown any sort of distrust or dislike of me whatsoever.  As a mother of a son, I whole heartedly understand what she has done for me and how difficult it has been.  As a mother of a Black son, I understand on an even deeper level. 

This world does not favor Black men.  They are considered inhuman by many racist people because of years of systemic racism, which continues to happen today.  It is part of the reason why the jails are overpopulated by them and why they are killed so often by the police and others.

I know that my MIL gave her son to God and trusted that the Lord would take care of him, which is all we mother’s can do.  In that, she trusted me and has believed in me to care for her son the way he deserves to be cared for. She has hoped that I would provide a life for him that he would have lived had he married a Black woman.  A comfortable life, where he could be himself in his own home and not have to prove himself constantly. 

My MIL is one of the most giving, loving, funny, beautiful people I know.  She would truly give the shirt off her back to help any of us in the family.  She is quick to give advice and wisdom. She never holds back with sharing what she knows, which is out of love. She always wants the best for us.  I am so thankful for her and grateful that she opened her heart to me and has trusted me with her son all these years.  Today is her birthday and I wanted to honor her by writing this post about her.

I love you, mom, and wishing you a very happy birthday today! Thank you for opening your heart to me and for all that you have done for me and our family. 

Te Amo

 “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”- Proverbs 27:5

I have always been the friend that says, “I love you.” I have believed throughout my life that it is important to express love and affection and to say “I love you” often, not just to family, but to friends, as well.  I have several friends that I feel very close to, who I say this to, who do not say it back.  I am curious as to why some people do not easily say these words.  Is it that they are so powerful that they reserve who they say it to and when they say it for what they consider important items?  Do they just not love me back? Maybe they think they should not say these words to a friend, and only to family?  The thing is, I consider them as family.  It stings a little each time the words are not reciprocated, but I typically chalk it up to the fact that they are someone that does not say the words easily rather than the fact that they just might not love me.  I do not say it all willy nilly to whoever I want to, I really do mean it.  So, that is what I want my friends to understand after I say it.  For those of you that do not say it to your friends, do you want them to know that you love them?  If you do, I strongly suggest you learn to become comfortable with it and say it back.  Don’t you want your friends to know how you feel about them?  I would never want to leave this earth and have friends left behind that wonder how I felt about them.  All my close friends know that I love them- whether they say it back to me or not- they know that I love them, and that is what matters most.  I encourage you to look at yourself and consider whether you are the type of friend that tells your friends how you feel, and if you are not, you may want to reconsider.  What do you have to lose?

We all live in a yellow submarine

This past week, a crew of five wealthy passengers took a voyage on a small vessel- a submersible- named “Titan” to look at the wreckage of the Titanic, which is sitting on the bottom of the ocean.  Titan was unfortunately not properly built for the intensity and the pressure of the depth of the water, so it imploded.  All five passengers died.  This made national news and people went crazy over it on social media.  Many of the comments I saw were making fun of the voyagers for taking such a dangerous trip, as well as shaming them for spending their money on it.  There were also comments about the news focusing on these wealthy people and their tragedy as opposed to a ship carrying hundreds of immigrants that went missing right around the same time.  People felt as if the media was focused on the wrong thing. 

I did not say a word about it on my social media.  I am so far removed from either situation that I did not think it was my place to say anything, and, frankly, I was annoyed with seeing so many posts about it.  I do not enjoy being a part of “trendy” discussions, just for the sake of being trendy.  Alas, for some reason, I feel the need to share my thoughts here with those that are willing to spend the time to read my blog.  I guess I am being trendy now.  So, here goes.

First, regarding the media, we all know good and well that the media always focuses on what is most glamorous. Sadly, most people in the world would want to hear about billionaires taking a dangerous trip to the bottom of the ocean than what happened with a ship carrying hundreds of immigrants. It is fascinating to imagine what living like a billionaire would be like for most of us, so hearing their story was captivating for most of us. 

Second, regarding the fact that they took the dangerous trip in the first place, I say that it is all relative.  An adventurous billionaire’s trip to the bottom of the sea could equate to an adventurous poor man’s hiking trip on a steep trail to the top of a mountain. Both trips are dangerous and could result in death and would be affordable for that person.  How can we mock someone for being adventurous when most of us would love to have more adventure in our lives?  True enough, we might not want to explore the ocean in such a way, but that is exciting for a lot of people- to see and research the ocean and its contents.

Unfortunately, the submersible voyagers did not survive their adventure. I pray they were at least able to see the wreckage of the Titanic before their vessel imploded. Most of all, I am praying for the mother who let her 19-year-old son take the fateful trip. I know the sacrifice she made to allow him to go instead of herself, because he really wanted to go.  It may have been a life-long dream of hers to go, as well, but she sacrificed her own desires to do something special for her son.  It sadly ultimately resulted in his early death.  She will always live with this knowledge that it could have been her instead of him.  Any loving mother would always want to sacrifice themselves instead of their child. It is what we do as moms.  My heart goes out to her.  Not only did she lose her husband, but she lost her son, and it could have been her on that boat. 

With both terrible situations, we should show love and concern, as opposed to judgement and ridicule.  We all make choices for ourselves that may be dangerous at times and the choices are relative to our own situations.  You might decide to bungee jump, go white water rafting, or go skiing. All these activities, despite the safety mechanisms put in place for them, are dangerous to a certain degree.  You could potentially die from participating in any of these things. 

As I sit and think about what transpired over the last couple of weeks, I am praying for the families of the victims of both tragedies. I encourage you to do the same.  We are all out here just trying to live life the best way we know how.  Let’s give each other a break.