Speak Life

 I was listening to the Toby Mac song “Speak Life” this morning on the radio while driving. It is a great song that talks about the importance of speaking positively in tough situations in your life and others' lives and how important it is to speak life, rather than speak negatively about our situations or others.  The Bible has many references to the power of the tongue.  Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”  James 3:9 says,” With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”  I often say negative things jokingly, but I realize that when we say things out loud, they are in the atmosphere, and we can never take them back. 

This makes me think about one of my best friends.  She is someone who constantly speaks positively to others- no matter the situation.  Sometimes it can be annoying, but that is only when I am selfishly trying to wallow in my frustration and enjoy feeling sorry for myself if I am being honest. Isn’t it true that we often want to sit in our frustration and not try to work to feel happier?  We complain about our troubles, but we do not work to feel better about our situation. We do not choose to think positively or speak positively, which only causes us to stay where we are and not progress toward better life circumstances.   We often make fun of the positive people in our lives and might think they are a little naïve; however, if you really think about it, it is much more difficult to choose to stay positive. Those people in our lives like my friend who always says positive things, even during the tough times, are working harder than us if we really think about it.  We all see the stickers, billboards, and license plates that say, “Choose Happiness” and it truly is a choice to be happy and to remain positive. 

I am going through a tough situation in my marriage.  My husband and I are in a disagreement about something that I will keep private for him, but which is really upsetting to me on a deep level.   I have a choice to make about it.  I can choose to see things in a positive light, as best as possible, or I can choose to remain upset, closed off, and not try to work it out with him.  It would be much easier emotionally to do the latter, as it takes no work to sit in my pain and frustration.  Do not get me wrong, you should never stay in an abusive situation, and what I am going through is not abuse.  I am just talking about situations that can eventually be worked out, as long as you remain positive and talk things out with your partner/whoever the relationship is with where you have an issue.  The problem for most of us is that choosing happiness and positivity takes work, and it takes time.  Generally speaking, most of us are lazy and impatient (see, there I go being negative!), so we are unwilling to do the work that is required to repair our relationships.  I encourage you today to choose happiness and to speak positively into your own life and into others’ lives today. Maybe have a goal to go one full day without saying anything negative and see how it impacts your day.  I promise to try it if you will. 😊 Love you!

MJ the Musical

 I think God creates some people on Earth who are talented beyond measure just to teach us about our gifts and the possibilities that are available if we pursue our talents. My husband, son, and I went to see MJ the Musical the other day at the Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC).  It was an incredible show that took us on a beautiful journey through Michael Jackson’s one-of-a-kind life.  Mose and Cinco wore the red jacket with tons of zippers from the Beat It video and received lots of attention for those jackets. People loved the jackets!  I wore a Rhythm Nation-style outfit to represent one of my favorite Jackson family members.  We had a blast. The whole experience really got me to think about MJ’s life and how it truly was an example for us all. 

Michael was a talented singer from childhood, so his skill was there early on.  His parents noticed and encouraged his skills.  They would often take MJ and his brothers around to different venues to perform.  The narrative presented to us is that Joseph Jackson, his father, was an abusive, controlling, man who forced the children to perform, even harshly directing them to continue when they were tired, as if he were a military captain.  I know MJ did speak about his father in a negative light, so the stories are likely true.  However, I think it is important to note that a huge part of Michael’s success was the fact that he had a supportive family that helped get him started, as well as helped instill a very strong work ethic in him.  His parents encouraged and pushed him and his brothers to do their best. Although they did so in unhealthy ways, this ultimately led MJ to fulfill his destiny.  I would imagine that the performers in the musical had supportive families- or at least role models- that encouraged them along the way, which led them to the Broadway stage. 

Of course, MJ quickly rose to fame and became the number-one pop artist in the world.  His fame and talent even helped break through racial barriers. Before he came along MTV would not play videos from Black artists.  MJ’s music forced MTV to play his videos because his music was so popular.  The MJ musical brings up this fact, which I loved to see because it is important to discuss the true facts of our history so that we do not repeat that behavior. 

His fame and wealth (and of course, the racism) resulted in MJ feeling ostracized from the rest of the world.  He felt alone- different from everyone else.  I mean, who could relate to him? Other than his human qualities, which people tend to overlook when they are focused on greed, those who surrounded him probably felt like they could not relate to him, which likely resulted in inauthentic relationships.  This probably resulted in continued unusual/strange interactions with others.  His mental health was ultimately affected by his life circumstances, which probably caused him to start taking pills to help with his mental and physical pain.  As we know, Michael’s medication use is tragically what ended up taking his life.  I just think that the loneliness that came from the fame and from others' greediness is what ended up killing Michael in the end.  It is a reminder that other people (and the enemy) often try- and unfortunately are successful- to distract us or block us from experiencing the goodness of God that comes from living a purpose-filled life.  If we stay focused on his promises, we won’t be distracted. We won’t be in danger of not experiencing the beautiful life that comes from following God’s plan.

Let’s not let Michael’s death distract us from understanding the true power, example, and beauty of his overall life.  MJ’s story is so incredibly inspiring.  Despite his tragic ending, his life was an example of what can happen if we follow God’s will for our lives and pursue the unique talents and gifts that he gives each of us.  None of us will ever be able to rise to the level of fame that Michael rose to, and we must remember that it came with a cost.  However, we can rise to be the best person that God intended us to be from birth if we just trust him and follow our dreams.  Have you tapped completely into your own unique talents and skills?  Are you working to improve on them so that you can share them with the world?  Are you living the life that God intended for you?  Each of us was created to live a unique, beautiful life and to share our individual talents with others.  When we are not sharing them, we are not living out our destiny.  Imagine all of the doors that will open when you are living out the full life that God planned for you!

Fast Car

My son was telling me this morning about a video he watched where a truck driver lost control of his breaks and he had to drive out of control and was stopped by hitting another car.  Hearing about this incident immediately caused me to remember when I went through a similar experience. 

My daughter was about 5 months old at the time.  I had recently canceled my wedding, of which I had been set to marry her father. Two weeks before the scheduled shotgun wedding that we had planned, I found out he had been cheating on me.  

We had become pregnant early in our relationship, and we were young- I was 20 and he was 22.  I knew I really did not want to marry him, as all the signs pointed towards the fact that I was not the only woman in his life and he was not fully committed to me, but I was willing to try to make it work for us since I felt that was the right thing to do for the baby girl that was growing inside of me.  He and I would regularly argue. I would ask him questions about anything, and he would lie -just about everything.  It stressed me out so terribly, that it would cause me to yell/scream at him during our arguments.  It was terrible, and I knew it wasn’t a good environment for my baby, even though she was still growing inside of me.  I knew the stress affected her little body, so I prayed for her regularly. I prayed that God would somehow save her from the anxiety I was feeling.

I had been driving an old BMW at the time, which my boyfriend had purchased for me.  It was an old model.  I was a broke college student, so I drove it and hardly took care of any of the regular upkeep that was required.  It got me from A to Z and I kind of liked the fact that it felt a little “vintage.”  However, I realized at one point that my brakes were starting to go out.  I knew they needed to be repaired/replaced but I had neither the cash nor the knowledge to do what I needed to do to get them repaired. 

As my boyfriend and I continued to argue, and as the cheating I had suspected for a while had been confirmed (that is a story for another blog entry!), the tension in our apartment and my stress and depression worsened. I felt stuck but I also felt it was the best thing to continue to try to make things work for the sake of our daughter.

One day, I was driving home from work, and I felt my brakes start to slip worse than they had previously. I instinctively knew that they were about to go out.  I became frightened, as I knew that I would have to drive down a hill in a few minutes, which would cause the car to increase its speed, and I would have no way of stopping the car.  I had a quick decision to make. I would drive toward my apartment building and use the entrance sign of the building to stop my car, which would, of course, cause damage to my car, the sign, and possibly myself. Thankfully, my daughter was not in the car with me.  The second option was to let my car roll down the hill towards the grocery store parking lot that was potentially full of people and cars, and I would not be able to control what I would hit.  It was a harrowing moment.  I ultimately decided to try to let the apartment sign stop my car, as I knew I could not risk hurting anyone else.  I will never forget the fear I felt at that moment. Thankfully, I was not injured.  The sign and my car were badly damaged, and so was my pride, but thankfully my body was unscathed and no one else was hurt.

That was a low moment for me to say the least.  In fact, it felt like rock bottom, and it certainly was.  It was the moment that caused me to realize that I was not actually in the best place for myself or my daughter. If my boyfriend could let me drive a car with bad brakes, if I was arguing all the time with him anyway, if I felt as depressed and stressed as I was, I needed to get out of that situation.  Shortly afterward, I called my parents and asked if I could move back in with them so that I could return to school, work, and save money.  I knew that would be the best way for me to be able to finish school. Without completing my degree, I knew I would not be able to live the life that I wanted to live- the life God intended for me.  Sometimes, God uses literal signs to show you that you need to make a change in your life!  My choices had gotten me to that point and I had to start making choices to improve my life from then on.  It was not easy getting myself out of the financial and mental bind that I was in. It took hard work, determination, tons of coffee, and non-stop prayer for me to get to a place where I could financially and emotionally stand tall and take care of myself and my baby.

Take what you will from this story, from my story.  I firmly believe I am supposed to share it with you to help give you the knowledge and hope to get through whatever you are going through.  Just know that God didn’t want me to have to hit that sign that day. What I said about him using that sign was a joke.  I do believe the Holy Spirit helped me make a life-saving decision that day, though he would have preferred I not be in that situation in the first place! I made all the choices that got me there and I had to make the choices to get me out.  What choices do you need to make today to get you out of your situation?  I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to get yourself to where you need to be, to where God wants you to be. He will be with you every step of the way if you accept that he is there and if you allow him to guide you through your next important steps.  If he did it for me, which I know he did, he will do it for you.  Take the step into the stormy water and believe he is holding your hand as you take those terrifying steps- because he is.  

Painful Paralysis

I attend a church that believes in the power of the Holy Spirit and that believes in spreading the true message of the kingdom.  We found out about this place, Marked Church, in early 2022, which was at a time when we were looking for a new church.  We have been attending since that time and we have grown so much as individuals and as a couple since going there.  The sermon on Sunday at the Hope Mills campus, taught by Pastor John, was so good. He spoke about the power of the Holy Spirit and how the Spirit is here to guide us and protect us.  We therefore need to be obedient to the prompting of the Spirit. He said there are three ways to determine if the prompting is from God. The first is to filter what we hear through the word of God. If what you are hearing is not in line with God’s word, abort the mission. It isn’t from him.  Secondly, it is important to watch who you have in your circle.  You can be friends with many, but close friends should also strive to follow the word of God.  It is difficult to hear from God if you’re surrounded by unbelievers and if you do not have supportive Christian friends who can help you determine if what you’re hearing is the Lord.  The third way to determine if the prompting is from God, which is the point that really resonated with me, is that you need to silence your pain.  Pastor John said that your pain has you stuck and unable to hear or listen to the Lord.  This is so true for many of us! We go through terribly painful experiences, which make us fearful to take new steps in life because we do not want to feel pain again.  Our efforts to protect ourselves hinder us from living out the lives that God intended for us.  We are too afraid to take the class, lead the group, apply for the job, approach that person, and those steps all could have taken us to the perfect destiny that God had in store for us.

When I was 11, I learned about a ministry called Kings Kids that was through the Youth With a Mission (YWAM) organization.  One of the leaders of the local group spoke at a church event that I was at and explained they were looking for children and adults for their team that they would be taking on a mission trip that summer.  The group would be performing in front of crowds of people by singing and choreographed dancing to Christian music.  When I heard the leaders speaking, I knew I wanted to go and felt like God wanted me to go.  I felt the tug on my heart- the prompting from the Holy Spirit.  At that time, it had only been a year or so since my parents had split up.  My mom had 5 children she was caring for and had little to no money with which to do it.  We were “broke broke”, as the kids say.  Knowing what I know now about life and the struggles of parenting and of financial worries, I am sure my mother was heartbroken to realize that it was something that would virtually be impossible to make happen.  However, thankfully, I have a sweet, loving mother who loves the Lord and trusts him, even during the worst times in life.  She told me at that time that if we fundraised and asked certain family members to help, I would likely be able to go.  She did not let her pain -or fear- get in the way.  We ultimately raised the money, and I was able to go. Not only did I go on that trip, but I went the following year as well, which was even more expensive, as we went to Denmark, Latvia, and Spain.  Again, she bravely led and assisted me by helping me raise the money so that I could go.  The second trip was even more of a miracle, but God made it happen.  I am so thankful to have a mother who had the wisdom to not let her pain or fear get in the way of allowing God to move in her life or in her children’s lives.  Had I not gone on those mission trips as a child, including the trip to Africa later as a 17-year-old, I would not be the person I am today.  I would not have the outlook on life that I have, and I would not see people the way I do.  Those experiences molded and shaped me.   Coincidently, I was reminded of my trips with Kings Kids and YWAM this last week when I learned of the passing of Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM.  Such a great, kind man, who listened to the prompting of the Spirit throughout his whole life and therefore positively impacted millions of people.

I want to encourage you today.  Do not let the pain from past experiences in life paralyze and keep you from hearing from the Lord or accepting his prompting/ guidance for you.  Push the pain away, ask Jesus to heal you, and ask for strength so that you can hear from him and be led safely into your destiny.  He has such greatness in store for you, but you must let your fear and pain go and step into the path he has set for you.  Love you!

Shallow or Nah?

I love flowers.  I especially love planting them.  I love to see an empty section of dirt in a flower bed filled with beautiful flowers filled with an assortment of colors.  Even though I am often forgetful about it, I love to take care of my flowers. They say you should talk to your plants, and I definitely do that.  I encourage my flowers as I water them, and while I occasionally give them plant food, to stay strong until the next time they are watered, which may not be for a few days if I forget.  I have always wanted to plant sunflowers.  Sunflowers are such beautiful flowers, and they stand out so prominently in people's yards.  I finally planted one a couple of years ago.  I planted it on the side of the house so that if it didn’t work out for some reason, it would not be an eyesore. It was a test run.  I dug a shallow hole in the ground, threw a handful of seeds in the hole, and covered it up.  After a couple of months, to my excitement, the sunflowers grew.  They stood tall and beautiful on the side of my house.   I loved looking at them each time I watered them, and I was so proud.  Sadly, we had stormy weather one weekend, and my sunflowers were washed out of the flower bed. They were destroyed.   It was honestly kind of comical to my kids and me because we always laughed about my extremely brown thumb and they jokingly told me that the sunflowers would not last. 

I was reading the book of Matthew chapter 13 this morning and read the parable of the Sower.  To summarize it, Jesus tells the parable of a farmer who planted seeds in various environments. He planted them on a path and birds came and quickly ate them up.  He planted them on rocky land with little soil, and they quickly grew, but they did not last long because the soil was too shallow.  He planted some seeds amongst weeds and thorns and the plants were choked and destroyed.  Finally, the farmer planted seeds in good soil and the seeds produced a whole crop- hundreds of plants.  Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of the parable starting in verse 18.  He explains that the seeds represent the message of the kingdom.  When the message is received by someone who does not understand it, the devil will immediately snatch it away from them and they cannot keep it in their heart.  The seed thrown on the rocky ground represents someone who hears the word of God, and it fills them up, but only briefly, because they are not rooted in the word, and they have a shallow foundation.  To me, this represents the Christians who depend on hearing God’s word solely from others- by going to church or watching videos- but they are not studying the word for themselves.  They will quickly become distracted by the world and are prone to being easily deceived and, as the Bible says, they quickly fall away during times of trouble.  The seeds that fell amongst the thorn and weeds represents Christians who hear the word, but they are so caught up in being fooled by wealth and by worrying about life, that they cannot really hear it.  So, it goes in one ear and out the other- and they miss the true blessings (i.e., fruitfulness) that they can receive from it.  Finally, the seeds that were planted in good soil were clearly very fruitful.  Jesus said this represents the person who hears the word and understands it. When you hear it and truly understand it, it will bring great fruitfulness to your life. 

What does understanding look like?  When we understand something, we typically take action, right?  For instance, we understand that the environment is harmed by pollution and excessive use of resources, so we recycle, and we try to use less water or chemicals that harm the environment.  The same should go with reading the Bible. When we understand it, we should be following it.  Of course, it can be difficult, and Jesus is with us even when we fail.  However, if we are just listening to the word, not understanding, and not following it, we are just like the fruitless seeds in this parable.  We are just like my sad little sunflower that did not make it.  It was so fun and pretty for only a short time. When one little storm came along, it was gone.  The lesson here is that we should continue to study God’s word so that we truly understand- and follow- it, so that we can remain strong in our faith, in believing in his promises, no matter what comes our way.   I can tell you that I wish it would not have taken me this long in life to realize the importance of studying God’s word for myself.  I mean, I have always heard and believed that I needed to study it for myself, and I have read the Bible on and off for years.  However, I can tell you now that I have been a sunflower throughout my life, as my faith has occasionally withered away during times of trouble.   I have not relied on God’s word or promises always, and I’ve been fearful throughout much of my life, which has only resulted in worse problems.  When I was bored at college, instead of going to God’s word and praying about it, I decided I should transfer schools.  After I transferred, I got into the party scene and ultimately became pregnant during my sophomore year.  By no means am I saying that I regret having my baby, as my daughter is a blessing that I received despite my sin.  But can you see how it would have stopped a lot of heartbreak and difficulty for me had I understood the word of God- the message of the kingdom at that time in my life?  

The Bible is truly a manual for getting us through life, as it shows us the way to handle all situations.  Yet, in our stubbornness (laziness maybe?), we often choose to allow others to read it to us- to feed it to us- as if we are still babies.  It’s time to grow up, family!  I encourage you to make a plan today to study the Bible on your own and ask Jesus to help you truly understand it so that you will live a wholly fruitful life.