To Give or Not to Give... That is the Question

Mose and I were asked to pray over the tithes and offerings at our church on Sunday.  It was such an honor to be asked to do it. However, I immediately felt a little nervous and knew that I needed to prepare what I wanted to say.  I knew I needed to ask God what I should say and how I should pray.  It was a big responsibility, and I did not want to mess it up.

Giving has always been a touchy subject for Christians.  Do we still tithe 10% as the word says in the Old Testament, even though we are living under the new covenant?  The concept of tithing and pastors asking for money have even turned many away from the church. We are sensitive about our money, to be sure!  How dare anyone tell us what to do with it?  Unless, of course, it’s our financial advisors… But, I digress…

After I asked the Lord to show me what he wanted me to say and what to pray for, he directed me to read 2 Corinthians chapters 8 and 9.  We often hear 2 Corinthians 9:7 quoted in the church, which talks about the importance of giving cheerfully and not because of feeling forced into it.  However, have you personally read both of these chapters in their entirety?  Paul is encouraging the church to give in these chapters and outlines the importance of it.  If you read them in their entirety and they do not convince you to give, I don’t know what will.

I grew up with parents who do not believe we should tithe to a particular church.  They believe we should give to “the church” which is believers, but also to the poor and needy in our community.  I would say I have adopted the same mentality, pretty much, as it is biblically sound.  However, for the last few years, my husband and I have steadily tithed and given it to a specific church.  I would say this comes from us trusting the church leadership to carefully steward it on our behalf.  They can make the money work for the community in a bigger way than we can.  It is important to watch and see what your church does with their money.  I know that’s blunt, and possibly a little painful for some of you churchy people to hear, but it’s the truth.  In our church, we see the leadership helping members in our congregation who need help, as well as helping out other churches in need, such as a church that sustained a building fire, for example.

Giving to others is essentially the premise of our faith- or religion- if you will. How do I know? James 1:27 says that pure religion in God’s eyes is caring for widows and orphans and refusing to let the world corrupt you (NLT).  I won’t get into the second point in that verse right now, but, we need to focus on the caring for widows and orphans part.  What does this look like?  In my mind, widows and orphans are some of the most vulnerable in our population.  They especially need our help.  When I think of this group, I also put single moms and their children in the same boat.  Paul told the church that, when we care for others by giving, we will lead them to God because they will be thankful to him (my paraphrasing and I am by far not a theologian!).  How much would we change the world if we cared for our vulnerable populations, such as single mothers?  If we help them financially and tell them it comes from the Lord, how could they not turn to him or at the very least be a little curious and possibly get one step closer to knowing God?  I was a single mom for a few years before I met Mose, and they were some of the toughest years of my life.  I was working full-time, going to school full-time, and raising my daughter.  I had many scary nights where I wanted to give up.  Had my church helped me out financially during that time, I likely would have leaned more on God and would have made smarter lifestyle choices!  I am just saying…

I love that my church gives to single mothers in our congregation. I’ve seen it happen a few times now, and it’s so beautiful.  It’s as it should be, and it honestly helps me to feel comfortable to continue to give directly to the church because I know they are stewarding it well.  If we do not have a church that is taking care of the community and the church members in such a way, then we need to take the extra step with our giving and directly support other ministries or organizations that are caring for the vulnerable people in our community.  In that way, we are fulfilling James 1:27. 

Since Mose and I have been tithing, we have not lacked.  We have even been generously blessed by God and many doors have opened to us in the last few years that I believe are in direct correlation.  I share this not to brag, but to encourage you to consider giving if you are not already doing so.  Pray and ask God what you should give and who you should give it to and be obedient.  When we give big, we are rewarded big.  I am not saying that means we’ll all become wealthy because that’s not what the word is saying.  Our rewards are mostly spiritual and therefore invaluable.

As Paul told the church, search your heart, and give what you believe you can give.  Don’t give so that you will suffer, and others will gain, but give so that we can have more equality amongst us.  Uh oh… that’s something a lot of Christians don’t want to hear- that whole equality piece.  That is the opposite of the old “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality.  But, you didn’t hear it from me… Paul said it first and it’s in God’s word, which means it comes directly from God.  Read the chapters and you’ll see.

With all my love,

Lyrica

Run Your Race

Hebrews 12:1 (NLT): “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

I jogged through my neighborhood at 5 a.m. this morning with my lovely neighbor and friend, Amy.  It was a pain to get up that early.  It was very cold, as it was 35 degrees.  I also went to bed too late last night, so I did not get a full night of rest. I had every reason to decide not to go but I made myself do it because I knew she was counting on me, and I knew I needed it.  I have been working at getting back into running regularly, so when she invited me to run with her a few mornings a week, I was excited to accept the offer.  The holidays and the weather have resulted in some breaks for us, but, overall, we have been getting after it and it has felt really good. This morning, I am feeling so energized! I need to remember this feeling the next time I feel unmotivated to run.

But, I digress.  The point of this post is not to guilt-shame you for not working out. Lord knows I have my many moments of not wanting to exercise and have kept my butt right on the couch or in bed. Running is such a metaphor for life. I have mentioned this before on my blog and I continue to feel this way.  Each of us is on our own path.  We are the main actors in our own production and everyone else is the supporting actors.  We each have our own race that God has set before us, as the verse mentions.  We live in a time where we are so overly focused on others’ lives by way of watching their stories on various social media platforms that we often forget to live out our own lives.  For instance, there have been many times when I planned to workout, write, or read a book that I’ve been meaning to read, only to start scrolling on my phone.  I become so enveloped in what is happening in my friends’ lives that I forget that I wanted to enrich my own life and I miss out on that.  I’m not running my race because I’m too busy watching everyone else’s.

Of course, we want to support and encourage others and we should not be selfish.  We should always have a mindset of ministry and of being a servant.  That is our primary race and it requires great endurance.  It is difficult to be a servant and to constantly work on being unselfish.  How can we serve others if we are always distracted?  I am certainly guilty, as I’ve mentioned several times on my blog, so I am lovingly sharing my thoughts on this for both of our benefits.  I encourage you today to run your race.  What does your specific, individual race look like?  What were you placed on this earth to do?  It’s time to pray and ask God to show you what that is – and listen to what he says.  If you are not in his word, and not praying and sitting in his presence often, you will have a hard time hearing his answer, by the way.  

When I run full marathons (that is 26.2 miles for those that don’t know and think any race is called a marathon- it’s not!), I stop and take photos, I meet new friends, and it’s a whole experience for me.  That’s the race I choose to run.  When we are running our “race” of life, we similarly need to take the time to enjoy it in such a way.  Take the time to capture the special moments and invest in others.  Take the time to hear God’s voice and enjoy his friendship.  Don’t run so hard and stay so focused that you miss out on the little things that make life so precious.   We can run with endurance and enjoy the race at the same time, so we need to remember that.  As the verse mentions, staying away from sin is going to help us run the race that God meant for us.  It will also help us enjoy it.  I could write a whole book on this, but I’ll keep it brief for those of you that are like me and have a short attention span.  God didn’t give us rules to follow in order to make our lives boring. It is the opposite, actually. If we stay away from sin (we can never be perfect, of course!), we can live the fullest lives possible and enjoy all that he intended for us to enjoy.  It’s really that simple. 

Let’s run our own races, friends, and be the best we can be – for ourselves and others.  Don’t let life pass by and miss out on all that God intended for you.  The path for your race is open and ready for you to get on it.  What are you waiting for?

With all my love,

Lyrica 

Daniel Fast 2024

 Every January for the past three years or so, my husband and I have done the Daniel Fast. This is a corporate fast that people typically do with their church. It’s a 21-day fast that traditionally starts on Jan 1^st.  It’s a reset for the new year, focusing on spiritual and physical health. It derives from the scripture, Daniel 10:3, where Daniel went on a no meat, bread, wine, or “rich foods” (depending on the translation you read) fast while he was praying for his people and about all of the sinfulness that was going on.  What this has translated to in modern times is a fast from all white flour, meat/animal products, alcohol, and added/refined sugar.  We only eat brown rice, legumes/beans, vegetables, and fruits.  The first few times I participated in this fast were tough.

Let me tell you, the first time I gave up caffeine as a part of this fast, I went through major withdrawal. I had horrible headaches and even experienced leg cramping! I was like a zombie walking around for a few days.  My caffeine-addicted self didn’t know what to do.

 I am in a different place spiritually this time around, I think, because it has not been too terrible.  It is tough, but I feel so good and healthy that it is difficult to feel like I’m missing out most of the time.  I do kind of miss bread right now, as we’ve just started the last full week of the fast. 

Throughout the fast so far this time, I’ve enjoyed making healthy, plant-based dishes, such as all veggie lasagna, where you make the sauce from scratch, the “meat” is the mushrooms, you use thinly sliced zucchini as your “noodles” and the “ricotta” is made out of cashews, spices, lemon juice, and nutritional yeast.  It is seriously yummy- even my family loves it.

Our prayers have had a different focus each year with the Daniel Fast.  This time around, my husband and I have been praying for a strengthened marriage, a stronger relationship with the Lord, and for strengthened relationships with our children.  I do feel at this moment that our prayers are being answered.  There is always room for growth, but our marriage is getting stronger.  Our communication is improving, which is the key to a healthy relationship.   I feel like the Lord is preparing us for ministry. 

There are many reasons to fast, and fasting in general has become a popular trend in American life.   We have apps on our phones to help track certain fasts, and we are doing juice cleanses, and resets with our bodies to get back on the right track physically.  What we need to realize is that we are also spiritually connected to food.  Ever heard the term you are what you eat? There’s a reason that saying came about.  When we are eating whole foods and primarily eating a plant-based diet, we are healthier and more in tune with how God created us to be.  We are more like God, which is what he intended when he created us (Gen 1:26-27).

The fast this year has inspired me to primarily remain on a vegan diet going forward, as I feel better and as I know this will ultimately help me live a longer life and live the life God intended for me.   I know that our relationship with food in general is a struggle.  My prayer is that we focus on living the healthiest life we can so that we can live out the life God meant for us.  He never wanted us to die early because of heart disease or a diet-related cancer.  If this is a struggle for you and you’d like me to pray for you about this, please let me know in the comments.

I love you, all, and hope you have a great week!

The Greatest

 I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately.  While God did heal my overwhelming anxiety overall, I still feel some increased stress and worry at times, due to situations that pop up.  I have also been feeling really distracted lately. There is just simply too much to do all the time and I have been feeling the weight of it all lately.  It causes me to shut down, which causes problems because I am not completing all the tasks that I need to.  I have not been feeling like I am managing it all well and have felt discouraged about myself and my flaws. 

It is by no coincidence that I was reading the book of Matthew this morning and turned to Chapter 18.   After his disciples asked which people were the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, Jesus explained to his disciples in this chapter that children were the greatest people in the kingdom and that we must become like them to enter heaven.  I have heard this verse throughout my life but after rereading it this morning, my mind was a little blown.  We need to think deeply about what this means if we are interested in entering heaven. 

What are the characteristics of children?  What is it about them that makes them special?  Well, for one, they are trusting.  Even after being hurt, they trust those caring for them will protect them.  They easily forgive and move on quickly.  Children are also giving and compassionate.  They will see another child- or even adult- in need and will naturally want to help them.  They are optimistic.  More often than not, they choose to think about the bright side of things and believe that everything will work out in the end.  They are also playful and imaginative.  They spend lots of time playing, having fun, and making up fun situations and stories.  Almost anything is possible for a child. If they have an idea, they truly believe that it can come true. 

In their natural state, unless we have harmed them to the point where they have become hardened and forced to grow up too fast, children exhibit all these characteristics and more.  So, in essence, we need to exhibit these characteristics, as well.  I can tell you that I need to work on all these things!  I am often pessimistic, for example.  I am not playful enough.  I do not trust God enough at times, which causes me to be fearful and uncomfortable.

May the Lord help us all to become more like children.  If we want this for ourselves, if we want to enter the kingdom of heaven- here on earth- or in the spiritual realm once we die- we must pray and ask God to help us to have these characteristics.  As busy adults, it will require us to slow down, remove distractions, and focus on God, our families, and others.  If this sounds daunting to you, take baby steps towards this.  Take one bite out of the elephant, as they say, and do not try to eat the whole thing at once.  Turn off your cell at 8 p.m. each night and spend time reading a book or the Bible from 8 to 9, instead.  Plan to call or get together with one friend once a week to establish and take care of your relationships.  Start volunteering for an organization that has a cause that is dear to your heart.  There are many things that you can do to develop more childlike characteristics, and these are just a few of them.  I encourage you to think about what this means to you.  I am sure that I missed several characteristics that you may be thinking of. Write them down, decide which ones resonate the best with you, and create a plan to work on that for yourself.   I know that I am craving that childlike freedom and carefree mindset, and I am going to ask God daily to help me with this.  Life is too short.  Let’s all get back to the basics and be like children as much as possible! 

Speak Life

 I was listening to the Toby Mac song “Speak Life” this morning on the radio while driving. It is a great song that talks about the importance of speaking positively in tough situations in your life and others' lives and how important it is to speak life, rather than speak negatively about our situations or others.  The Bible has many references to the power of the tongue.  Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”  James 3:9 says,” With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”  I often say negative things jokingly, but I realize that when we say things out loud, they are in the atmosphere, and we can never take them back. 

This makes me think about one of my best friends.  She is someone who constantly speaks positively to others- no matter the situation.  Sometimes it can be annoying, but that is only when I am selfishly trying to wallow in my frustration and enjoy feeling sorry for myself if I am being honest. Isn’t it true that we often want to sit in our frustration and not try to work to feel happier?  We complain about our troubles, but we do not work to feel better about our situation. We do not choose to think positively or speak positively, which only causes us to stay where we are and not progress toward better life circumstances.   We often make fun of the positive people in our lives and might think they are a little naïve; however, if you really think about it, it is much more difficult to choose to stay positive. Those people in our lives like my friend who always says positive things, even during the tough times, are working harder than us if we really think about it.  We all see the stickers, billboards, and license plates that say, “Choose Happiness” and it truly is a choice to be happy and to remain positive. 

I am going through a tough situation in my marriage.  My husband and I are in a disagreement about something that I will keep private for him, but which is really upsetting to me on a deep level.   I have a choice to make about it.  I can choose to see things in a positive light, as best as possible, or I can choose to remain upset, closed off, and not try to work it out with him.  It would be much easier emotionally to do the latter, as it takes no work to sit in my pain and frustration.  Do not get me wrong, you should never stay in an abusive situation, and what I am going through is not abuse.  I am just talking about situations that can eventually be worked out, as long as you remain positive and talk things out with your partner/whoever the relationship is with where you have an issue.  The problem for most of us is that choosing happiness and positivity takes work, and it takes time.  Generally speaking, most of us are lazy and impatient (see, there I go being negative!), so we are unwilling to do the work that is required to repair our relationships.  I encourage you today to choose happiness and to speak positively into your own life and into others’ lives today. Maybe have a goal to go one full day without saying anything negative and see how it impacts your day.  I promise to try it if you will. 😊 Love you!

MJ the Musical

 I think God creates some people on Earth who are talented beyond measure just to teach us about our gifts and the possibilities that are available if we pursue our talents. My husband, son, and I went to see MJ the Musical the other day at the Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC).  It was an incredible show that took us on a beautiful journey through Michael Jackson’s one-of-a-kind life.  Mose and Cinco wore the red jacket with tons of zippers from the Beat It video and received lots of attention for those jackets. People loved the jackets!  I wore a Rhythm Nation-style outfit to represent one of my favorite Jackson family members.  We had a blast. The whole experience really got me to think about MJ’s life and how it truly was an example for us all. 

Michael was a talented singer from childhood, so his skill was there early on.  His parents noticed and encouraged his skills.  They would often take MJ and his brothers around to different venues to perform.  The narrative presented to us is that Joseph Jackson, his father, was an abusive, controlling, man who forced the children to perform, even harshly directing them to continue when they were tired, as if he were a military captain.  I know MJ did speak about his father in a negative light, so the stories are likely true.  However, I think it is important to note that a huge part of Michael’s success was the fact that he had a supportive family that helped get him started, as well as helped instill a very strong work ethic in him.  His parents encouraged and pushed him and his brothers to do their best. Although they did so in unhealthy ways, this ultimately led MJ to fulfill his destiny.  I would imagine that the performers in the musical had supportive families- or at least role models- that encouraged them along the way, which led them to the Broadway stage. 

Of course, MJ quickly rose to fame and became the number-one pop artist in the world.  His fame and talent even helped break through racial barriers. Before he came along MTV would not play videos from Black artists.  MJ’s music forced MTV to play his videos because his music was so popular.  The MJ musical brings up this fact, which I loved to see because it is important to discuss the true facts of our history so that we do not repeat that behavior. 

His fame and wealth (and of course, the racism) resulted in MJ feeling ostracized from the rest of the world.  He felt alone- different from everyone else.  I mean, who could relate to him? Other than his human qualities, which people tend to overlook when they are focused on greed, those who surrounded him probably felt like they could not relate to him, which likely resulted in inauthentic relationships.  This probably resulted in continued unusual/strange interactions with others.  His mental health was ultimately affected by his life circumstances, which probably caused him to start taking pills to help with his mental and physical pain.  As we know, Michael’s medication use is tragically what ended up taking his life.  I just think that the loneliness that came from the fame and from others' greediness is what ended up killing Michael in the end.  It is a reminder that other people (and the enemy) often try- and unfortunately are successful- to distract us or block us from experiencing the goodness of God that comes from living a purpose-filled life.  If we stay focused on his promises, we won’t be distracted. We won’t be in danger of not experiencing the beautiful life that comes from following God’s plan.

Let’s not let Michael’s death distract us from understanding the true power, example, and beauty of his overall life.  MJ’s story is so incredibly inspiring.  Despite his tragic ending, his life was an example of what can happen if we follow God’s will for our lives and pursue the unique talents and gifts that he gives each of us.  None of us will ever be able to rise to the level of fame that Michael rose to, and we must remember that it came with a cost.  However, we can rise to be the best person that God intended us to be from birth if we just trust him and follow our dreams.  Have you tapped completely into your own unique talents and skills?  Are you working to improve on them so that you can share them with the world?  Are you living the life that God intended for you?  Each of us was created to live a unique, beautiful life and to share our individual talents with others.  When we are not sharing them, we are not living out our destiny.  Imagine all of the doors that will open when you are living out the full life that God planned for you!

Fast Car

My son was telling me this morning about a video he watched where a truck driver lost control of his breaks and he had to drive out of control and was stopped by hitting another car.  Hearing about this incident immediately caused me to remember when I went through a similar experience. 

My daughter was about 5 months old at the time.  I had recently canceled my wedding, of which I had been set to marry her father. Two weeks before the scheduled shotgun wedding that we had planned, I found out he had been cheating on me.  

We had become pregnant early in our relationship, and we were young- I was 20 and he was 22.  I knew I really did not want to marry him, as all the signs pointed towards the fact that I was not the only woman in his life and he was not fully committed to me, but I was willing to try to make it work for us since I felt that was the right thing to do for the baby girl that was growing inside of me.  He and I would regularly argue. I would ask him questions about anything, and he would lie -just about everything.  It stressed me out so terribly, that it would cause me to yell/scream at him during our arguments.  It was terrible, and I knew it wasn’t a good environment for my baby, even though she was still growing inside of me.  I knew the stress affected her little body, so I prayed for her regularly. I prayed that God would somehow save her from the anxiety I was feeling.

I had been driving an old BMW at the time, which my boyfriend had purchased for me.  It was an old model.  I was a broke college student, so I drove it and hardly took care of any of the regular upkeep that was required.  It got me from A to Z and I kind of liked the fact that it felt a little “vintage.”  However, I realized at one point that my brakes were starting to go out.  I knew they needed to be repaired/replaced but I had neither the cash nor the knowledge to do what I needed to do to get them repaired. 

As my boyfriend and I continued to argue, and as the cheating I had suspected for a while had been confirmed (that is a story for another blog entry!), the tension in our apartment and my stress and depression worsened. I felt stuck but I also felt it was the best thing to continue to try to make things work for the sake of our daughter.

One day, I was driving home from work, and I felt my brakes start to slip worse than they had previously. I instinctively knew that they were about to go out.  I became frightened, as I knew that I would have to drive down a hill in a few minutes, which would cause the car to increase its speed, and I would have no way of stopping the car.  I had a quick decision to make. I would drive toward my apartment building and use the entrance sign of the building to stop my car, which would, of course, cause damage to my car, the sign, and possibly myself. Thankfully, my daughter was not in the car with me.  The second option was to let my car roll down the hill towards the grocery store parking lot that was potentially full of people and cars, and I would not be able to control what I would hit.  It was a harrowing moment.  I ultimately decided to try to let the apartment sign stop my car, as I knew I could not risk hurting anyone else.  I will never forget the fear I felt at that moment. Thankfully, I was not injured.  The sign and my car were badly damaged, and so was my pride, but thankfully my body was unscathed and no one else was hurt.

That was a low moment for me to say the least.  In fact, it felt like rock bottom, and it certainly was.  It was the moment that caused me to realize that I was not actually in the best place for myself or my daughter. If my boyfriend could let me drive a car with bad brakes, if I was arguing all the time with him anyway, if I felt as depressed and stressed as I was, I needed to get out of that situation.  Shortly afterward, I called my parents and asked if I could move back in with them so that I could return to school, work, and save money.  I knew that would be the best way for me to be able to finish school. Without completing my degree, I knew I would not be able to live the life that I wanted to live- the life God intended for me.  Sometimes, God uses literal signs to show you that you need to make a change in your life!  My choices had gotten me to that point and I had to start making choices to improve my life from then on.  It was not easy getting myself out of the financial and mental bind that I was in. It took hard work, determination, tons of coffee, and non-stop prayer for me to get to a place where I could financially and emotionally stand tall and take care of myself and my baby.

Take what you will from this story, from my story.  I firmly believe I am supposed to share it with you to help give you the knowledge and hope to get through whatever you are going through.  Just know that God didn’t want me to have to hit that sign that day. What I said about him using that sign was a joke.  I do believe the Holy Spirit helped me make a life-saving decision that day, though he would have preferred I not be in that situation in the first place! I made all the choices that got me there and I had to make the choices to get me out.  What choices do you need to make today to get you out of your situation?  I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to get yourself to where you need to be, to where God wants you to be. He will be with you every step of the way if you accept that he is there and if you allow him to guide you through your next important steps.  If he did it for me, which I know he did, he will do it for you.  Take the step into the stormy water and believe he is holding your hand as you take those terrifying steps- because he is.